When I saw the topic for this month’s blog hop was “Emotional Intelligence” I have to admit I was a bit stumped. Not a topic with which I’m very familiar, I was overwhelmed with the possibility of having to write an informed blog post. So, I turned to the trusty Google search and did some digging. It did not disappoint.

I found several articles on all facets of emotional intelligence (EQ), from how it affects your career to its signs in gifted children. Rather than merging these together in a hodgepodge of my own thoughts, I wanted to share the ones I found most useful. Hopefully, these will be helpful to those who are in the same place I was.

Definitions of Emotional Intelligence

This short primer from the University of New Hampshire gives a basic definition of emotional intelligence, along with a glossary of terms related to the subject. Perfect if you are strapped for time and want a one-minute read.

On the other end of the spectrum, the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence is full of resources about emotional intelligence and its effects on our lives. They even host events to share recent research and announcements. Great for those who want to dive deep into the subject.

A helpful article from Psychology Today for those like me who think best in broken-down categories. The author reviews misconceptions about emotional intelligence common in the larger media. He also gives a brief overview of study he and a colleague conducted to measure emotional intelligence in children.

A list of common traits of those with EQ coupled with brief explanations. Since the article is published on the career site Inc., it also notes studies that have found those with high emotional intelligence tend to be star performers in the work place.

Emotional Intelligence and Society

The author of this Atlantic article explains how the trait can be used for “evil,” particularly in the workplace. He explores studies conducted in workplaces that have found some employees with high EQ possess almost Machiavellian tendencies.  A very interesting read on the dangerous power of manipulation.

This feature from the New York Times highlights Northern California schools that attempt to teach elementary-age children to be emotionally intelligent. I was fascinated by the methods the schools used and the debate over whether or not they are effective.

Emotional Intelligence and Gifted Children

A well-rounded piece from the Davidson Institute that emphasizes the importance of being attentive to the emotional development and needs of the gifted child. I appreciated the fact that the author acknowledged the common in the population and how they can be harnessed to ensure a child thrives.

Brainy Child provides another overview of emotional intelligence, but this one specifically relates to gifted children. Parents will appreciated the list of tips for developing EQ in the gifted, as well as notes on common emotional stressors and how to overcome them.

More tips, this time from SENG, on how to nurture emotional intelligence in your gifted child. The author specifically advocates for a hands-on but not helicopter approach, guiding the child while allowing them to learn and grow on their own.

What are your favorite resources about emotional intelligence?

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I have only been at ������Ƶ for six months, but in that time one of the most frequent struggles I have heard from parents is how their child does not fit in socially. This is no surprise, due to the asynchronous development many gifted children experience, which causes them to develop at a different level socially than they do intellectually. This can cause kids to feel “different” from their peers, leading to low social self-esteem.

Low social self-esteem is not just a problem for gifted children, but it can manifest differently and more intensely in them. Michelle Muratori, a senior counselor and researcher at the Center for Talented Youth at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, notes in an article for :

“Competence and achievement are generally thought to be vital elements of self-esteem and are intertwined with a child’s evaluation and awareness of his or her own worth, so people may mistakenly conclude that gifted children are exempt from low self-esteem because they appear to be very competent and high achieving.”

Muratori goes on to say that, while gifted children are not necessarily more susceptible to low self-esteem than their non-gifted peers, their self-esteem issues are more likely to be overlooked by others or hidden by the child themselves.

One of the main causes of low social self-esteem in gifted children is what .  Kroon notes that many gifted people have a strong need for honesty and transparency, yet many of those considered socially successful are good at knowing what is expected from them to fit in with the norm. They will often choose to protect themselves socially rather than doing what is “right”, which is at odds with the way many gifted children think.

This can make fitting in socially difficult, since belonging to most peer groups requires some conformity. It often leads gifted kids with low self-esteem to believe they have to choose between being accepted by their peers and being true to who they are. Additionally, Kroon notes that, due to the often present, gifted kids tend to be more intense in their feelings. Often, this causes them either to stand out or try to be unnoticed, making them easy targets for teasing and bullies.

“These students may unfortunately internalize the message that it is not OK for them to be who they truly are, which may damage their global self-esteem,” said Muratori. Furthermore, , notes that gifted children are not always taught to use their many capabilities to solve the problem and need help obtaining a balanced view of their self-worth in both a social and intellectual context.

Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help your gifted child improve their social self-esteem.

• Find opportunities for them to interact with intellectual peers. Friends are an essential component to boosting social self-esteem. Start by talking to your school’s gifted coordinator, or connecting with a gifted advocacy group in your state. (������Ƶ’s Gifted Resource Center has a state-by-state list.) Ask them about social or interest groups that would fit your child. Also, consider inquiring about parent groups, where you can foster connections for both your child and yourself. If there are no groups in your area, some parents have recommended searching online resources and connecting your child with a pen pal. Keep in mind that gifted children may not always find close friends in their age group.
• Help them recognize their contributions. Kroon notes that it is important to remember that your child is a complex person with both intellectual and emotional needs. Help them recognize their contributions in all facets of their life by making a list of accomplishments they are proud of beyond just academics.
• Don’t let them think everything is easy. that some gifted children develop the idea that, if they are smart, everything will come easily to them. This makes them more likely to quit when something, such as finding a friend group, becomes difficult. Remind them that even the best performers practice a lot and help them develop a manageable plan for overcoming obstacles.
• Seek counseling if the need arises. Sometimes, even with the best parental and teacher support, a gifted child may need counseling to deal with issues related to low social self-esteem, notes .

Hopefully, with a little help and lots of patience, your gifted child will develop a healthy social self-esteem and be able to reach their full potential in all areas of life.

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