“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”― 

As we attempt new challenges, we are faced with opportunities for growth, and change, but with those opportunities comes the risk of failure. While we intellectually understand that, in order to grow we must take chances and try things we cannot accomplish until the skill has been learned, it doesn’t seem to help how we feel about failing.

Rose Costas said, in her article “,”  “We fail because we are growing, we are exploring and we want solutions to life’s problems.  When you have failed and have gotten over your disappointment, you are much more likely to dig deeper within you for strength you didn’t even know you had.  You will realize what you are truly made of and how resilient you are.”

In his book, , Tim Harford writes, “We’re so anxious not to “draw a line under a decision we regret” that we end up causing still more damage while trying to erase it.”  He gives the example of poker players who’ve lost money and make riskier bets than they’d normally take, in an attempt to win the lost money back and “erase the mistake.”

But the thought process that we engage in after a failure can be the thing that strengthens or diminishes our ability to succeed in future endeavors.  So how can we train ourselves to respond positively to defeat?

When we experience a win, our brains release endorphins, dopamine and serotonin, which encourage us to engage in a task again.  When we experience a failure, our brains release cortisol and do not leave us with feelings of acceptance and safety.

Neurologist Judy Willis, MD, shares that  “neuroimaging studies reveal….there are specific and reproducible patterns of changing neural activity and brain structures associated with stress.”  She states that in the high-stress state, scans reveal less activity in the higher, reflective brain and more activity in the lower, reactive brain that directs involuntary behaviors and emotional responses and that, over time, the density and speed of the neuron-to-neuron connections in the emotion-driven reactive networks of the lower brain increase and corresponding connections in prefrontal cortex conscious control centers decrease.

Basically, dwelling on outcomes can make the neuropathways stronger, so a more helpful activity is to rewire your brain to get used to the feeling of succeeding, rather than the expectation of failure.  She recommends setting goals that allow you to  experience “frequent recognition feedback of incremental progress.” Reaching these goals will release dopamine, which creates feelings of satisfaction, increases motivation, curiosity, perseverance and memory.”

Dr. Mills advises, “Since your goal is to rewire your brain’s expectations that your efforts will yield progress, even through increasing challenge, you need to really want the goal. This is not the time to challenge yourself with something you feel you should do but won’t really look forward to doing, such as dieting, climbing stadium stairs, or flossing after every meal. Select a goal that you would enjoy en route and at the finish.”

This does not mean we should eliminate the risk for failure, else we stop growing.  In his article “Positive Intelligence,” author reminds us “It’s important to remember that stress has an upside.”  His advice for when you’re overwhelmed (or focusing on failures) is to make a list of the stresses you’re under.  Separate them into two groups – the ones you can control and those you can’t  – and then choose one item that you can control and come up with a small, concrete step you can take to reduce it. In this way you can nudge your brain back to a positive—and productive—mind-set.

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It’s common knowledge that kids can benefit from participation in sports: weekly exercise, the opportunity to make new friends, development of leadership skills, and much more.  However, what may not be so well-known is that participating in sports can have an even greater benefit for gifted students.

From violin and painting to robotics and debate, gifted children have many interests and often very little free time, but here is why you should consider signing them up for a sport as well:

Having a Safe Place to Fail

Most gifted kids are used to excelling and don’t know how to handle not being at the top of the pack. Chances are gifted children will not be the best soccer players on the team, but that is ok. Missing a goal is not going to affect their chances of getting into the school of their dreams. What it will do, however, is , and that is just fine.

Opportunities to Broaden Friendships

Playing on a sports team or taking classes such as tennis or fencing allows gifted children to connect with kids outside their regular peer group. They will meet students with varying interests and intellect and learn to communicate better with them. Surprisingly, they may find they have more in common with their new teammates or classmates than they would have thought.

Occasions to Let off Steam and Play

Gifted students can often feel overwhelmed with responsibilities and the pressure to be perfect. Participating in a sport allows them an opportunity to get outside, exercise, clear their heads, and focus on something completely different. In fact, at Yunasa and Yunasa West, ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ’s summer camps, one of the most popular activities is GaGa Ball, a variation of dodgeball. And, in ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ’s post-camp surveys, the kids always mention that they just love to get outside and play.

Improving Academics

Studies have shown that the physical activity of a sport helps to engage the brain in forward thinking. Many gifted students find that participating in a sport calms their active minds and .

Learning to Work as Part of a Team

Many gifted students tend to prefer working independently. By participating in a team sport, gifted students must learn to work with their teammates in order to achieve success. This is such an important skill since teamwork is required for just about all aspects of life— school, business, and personal relationships.

In sum, gifted kids can benefit greatly from participating in sports. And, while it can be quite a time commitment for the whole family (hours of after-school practice and weekend games), gifted children should try a sport— at least once. It will give them a better understanding of themselves as well as other children, provide a sense of balance in their lives, and make them more well-rounded individuals.

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