Being gifted is not always easy. It is a far-too common misconception that gifted children are luckier or better off than non-gifted children and don’t struggle in any aspects of their lives. The natural assumption is that gifted children are academically advanced and therefore can sail through school and their childhood. What is not obvious to many is that some things that come quite easily to some may, in fact, be a source of confusion and anxiety for gifted children. One concept that can be difficult to grasp, understand and embrace is gratitude, which can be an all-too abstract idea for gifted and twice-exceptional children. The definition alone requires one to understand the concepts of thankful and appreciation – which, not unlike gratitude, require the ability to make emotional connections:

Gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Thankfully, the science of gratitude and its effects on happiness and overall wellbeing have been studied intensely over the past decade and new strategies for helping Gifted and 2e children understand, embrace, and reciprocate gratitude have been developed. What was once thought to be a self-explanatory concept has now been broken down into manageable strategies that turn the abstract into tangible exercises.

1. Break it down mathematically. For those gifted students that think concretely, linearly, or literally, breaking the concept of gratitude into measurable terms can help make it more understandable. Not unlike a mathematical equation, the following example questions can get students to think of kind and helpful acts as realistic by placing a value on them:

• How much did your sister help you on purpose? (This aims to measure intent.)
• How much did your sister give up to help you? (This aims to measure cost.)
• How much did your sister help you? (This aims to measure outcome.)

Instead of asking open-ended questions such as “Why should you feel grateful for what your sister did?” break the act up into more manageable pieces – the sum of which will then become clearer.

2. Break it down scientifically. In recent years, the science of happiness has been a hot topic and countless books have been written about it. Gifted students with a passion for STEM disciplines can understand, scientifically, how gratitude leads to increased happiness and what effect that has on the brain and the rest of the body. Infographics and articles are tremendously helpful in this respect, such as the following:

For example, the fact that happiness releases serotonin in the hippocampus is something STEM-minded students can understand in a tangible way.

3. Break it down visually: The YouTube channel The Science of Happiness has wonderful videos that capture the power of gratitude and the effects it has on ourselves and those around us in relatable ways. In one video, , viewers see the immediate and long-term effects of being on both the receiving and the giving ends of gratitude.
4. Use Your Talents! Saying “thank you” or presenting someone with a tangible token of one’s appreciation are not the only ways to express gratitude. For example, through the project, a student-led initiative part of the Design for Change movement, students experience a service learning project that brings STEM education to children’s hospitals. Their talents in leadership, project design, and the STEM fields serve children who are unable to participate in traditional schooling, increasing participants’ gratitude, appreciation, and empathy through their efforts.
5. Write it Down! Gifted students may feel shy or embarrassed about verbalizing what they’re grateful for, which is where gratitude journals come in handy. This can be integrated into the school day by teachers or into a daily or weekly routine by parents. Gratitude journals can be blank journals in which students practice free writing, or journals with templates or prompts that give students ideas for how to get started. The idea is simple: Your writing won’t be judged or reviewed; it is for you and you alone. You can be as concrete or descriptive as you’d like – the main thing is, put pen to paper and chronicle the people, events, and experiences that you’re thankful for. For some great gratitude journal ideas, .
6. Think Outside the Box: Too often, students are encouraged to show gratitude only for the great things they have, for example their friends, their family, their successes, and their accomplishments. But gifted students are creative thinkers and adept at seeing things from other perspectives. Therefore, they should be challenged to think about – and be grateful for – difficulties they’ve encountered. You might ask, “What is a shortcoming you’ve experienced that you are grateful for? What has this shown and given you, and why are you a better person because of it?” By viewing failure as a learning experience, students can focus on embracing challenge and risk as part of the learning process – and something to be grateful for.
7. Random Acts of Kindness: In school, club, and camp settings, Random Acts of Kindness is a great tool for giving shout-outs to students for doing everyday kind acts. When someone witnesses another person doing something kind, such as staying late to help clean up, holding the door for someone, or carrying a heavy object for a peer, they write down that person’s name and the kind act on a slip of paper, then put it in a box. During a designated time each day, one slip of paper is drawn and that student is recognized publicly, such as at mealtime or during a break in activities. This initiative works well for those students who find it difficult to show gratitude face-to-face – and the anonymity and suspense factors of this initiative create a sense of mystery and community!

What strategies and exercise have you employed to get your Gifted students or children to understand and show gratitude?

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Jennifer is ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ’s Marketing and Communications Coordinator. She has been working to spread the word about ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ and the needs of gifted children for the past three years and, in the process, has learned a great deal about herself and the gifted children in her life.

As many of you did, I spent Thanksgiving week thinking a great deal about gratitude. There are a multitude of things for which I am truly grateful – my family, friends, my wonderful job, and the comfort in which I am able to live – but they seem to fall into the category of Thanksgiving clichés. This, of course, does not render my objects of gratitude unimportant, but after decades of pondering thankfulness, my story hasn’t changed much. This year, though, I began thinking about gratitude a little differently.

The day before Thanksgiving, I took a yoga class. When the session had ended, the teacher encouraged us to think about things we were grateful for within ourselves. My mind quickly began to reel. I am grateful for my determination and hard work, I thought. I am grateful for the love I show my family and friends. I am grateful for my mind. I am grateful for my commitment to causes I believe in.

This exercise helped me to think about gratitude more deeply. Not only am I grateful for my niece and nephew who bring endless joy and love into my life, but I am grateful for the way my niece clings to me when she is tired or scared or sick – she feels safe with me. I am grateful for the smile on my nephew’s face when I walk into his house, and I even cherish the tears that pool in his eyes when I must leave, because I know he loves me and does not want to watch me go.

And not only am I grateful for my amazing job at ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ, but I am grateful for all of the enlightening things I’ve learned and experienced since starting here:

• I am grateful to know that I am not weird; I don’t have a problem; I’m not alone.
• I am grateful to know that bursting into tears for “no reason” is not a sign of an emotional unbalance that needs to be “cured.”
• I am grateful to be ; it is this intensity that makes up much of who I am.
• I am grateful for my mind, but I am also grateful to know that I am more than my mind.
• I am grateful to have found my tribe.
• I am grateful to be able to touch the lives of kids who are like I was as a child.
• I am grateful to be able to constantly learn more about myself as I learn about the kids we serve.
• I am grateful for the opportunity to learn more about how I can help my gifted nephew, who at first just seemed way too smart for his own good, and my niece, whose sensory processing issues made the world a very scary and overwhelming place for her for awhile.
• I am grateful to work for an organization that embraces my quirks and knows that many of these things are what make me good at what I do.
• I am grateful to work for an organization where my passions are encouraged and supported.
• I am grateful to be challenged each and every day.
• I am grateful for the daily variety and surprises that come with working at ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ.
• I am grateful for the amazing, talented, compassionate, supportive, and considerate colleagues with whom I work every day; we truly have an amazing team at ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ.
• I am grateful to have been encouraged to find balance in my life.
• I am grateful for the increased reach and impact of my work at ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ, and I am grateful that more families are able to find what I have found here.
• I am grateful for all of the parents who come to us because they know their children are different and require something more.
• I am grateful to be able to speak up on behalf of kids who are often misunderstood and don’t get the right attention.
• I am grateful to meet others who care about this population of neglected children as much as I do.
• I am grateful for the opportunity to have an impact on the world.
• I am grateful to be gifted.

At the Annual Bradley Seminar this year, ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ President Elizabeth Jones encouraged us to keep gratitude journals. I thought it was a great idea and began one, but I found I was always saying the same things. This Thanksgiving, I made a resolution to think deeply about gratitude over the coming year. Consider this the first entry in my new gratitude journal, and let this one reflect the empowerment that accompanies gratitude for elements of one’s self and life that are often overlooked. In addition to being grateful for my mom’s love and my niece’s smile, I will let myself be grateful for the things that make me who I am and for the circumstances I have worked hard to create for myself. I will also make gratitude a priority year-round, not just a Thanksgiving Day activity. I would encourage you to do the same.

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