In today’s world, we’ve grown to expect nearly immediate results in every aspect of our lives. I, for one, have caught myself clicking repeatedly in frustration on a link when it doesn’t load within a fraction of a second. We likely all know someone who has abandoned a new health regimen within a week because they didn’t see the positive changes they were expecting. Most adolescents in developed nations are growing up not ever knowing a world where they don’t have instant access to any video, song, image or fact ever posted. These technological advances are undeniably positive in the grand scheme of things, but they also have caused us to project this expectation of instant gratification onto areas of our lives where immediacy is impossible.

That’s where grit comes into play.  Grit, which is defined as “perseverance and passion for long-term goals,” is necessary to overcome this tendency towards lack of patient discipline. Working in the gifted community, I interact with profoundly intelligent, creative and innovative young people on a daily basis. Many of these individuals also possess grit when they have a specific goal they are truly passionate about achieving. They will linger after class until their wind turbine turns smoothly, phrase an idea in numerous ways until their classmates understand their ingenuity, or borrow a logic puzzle to take home so they can finally solve it after hours of trying.

But how do we teach our children or students to have the tenacity to accomplish tasks they’re not as eager or well-equipped to complete? I found four big ways to encourage grit in gifted students as an educator or parent.

1. Praise children for their effort, not just the final outcome

Many gifted children are used to being recognized for their great memory or intelligence, but they may become easily frustrated when a task proves to be difficult. Encourage perseverance by applauding hard work and tenacity, not just what they produce on tasks that come easily. Additionally, you can point out this hard work and resilience to children when you see it in Olympic athletes, history lessons, book or movie characters, or friends and family members they admire.

2. Focus more on independence than perfection

It’s very tempting to intervene when a child is working through a challenging task, especially if the child is gifted and both of you are used to things coming easily to them. Instead of focusing on perfection as the ultimate goal for a task, lightly coach students in a way that allows them to be independent while still understanding that you’re there for help and encouragement if needed. Perfectionism is common in gifted students so this can be a tough, but healthy, transition to make.

3. Empathize and teach self-encouragement

Try to show your child or student how to encourage themselves without disregarding their emotions. After what may seem to them like a failure, say something like, “You might be feeling disappointed, but you should feel really proud of yourself for trying your best. When you’re ready, let’s try again!” Because gifted children often feel different from their peers, knowing someone is able to understand their emotions can work wonders for their self-esteem. Eventually, they’ll be able to recognize their own emotions with clarity and then encourage themselves through trials.

4. Model positivity and resilience in your own life

Most children, but especially gifted children, absorb and reflect the behaviors they see in the adults around them. Because of this, stay away from making self-disparaging comments about yourself in front of children and, instead, talk openly about your mistakes and how you recover from them. Not only will this help the children watching you avoid developing a negative self-image or fear of failure, but it will have positive impact on your own well-being! Your ability to model this trait and make it relevant in the lives of children will show them how to lessen their fear of failure in the short-term while still striving for success in the long-term.

What suggestions do you have for teaching gifted children grit?

Sources:

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Mark Erlandson, the parent of a gifted student who presently attends a boarding school out East, is a former lawyer and public high school English teacher from Wisconsin starting a new business as a legal writing consultant.

Grit. I’ll admit I didn’t have it. Twice now I have put this blog down and stopped writing because I felt uninspired and bored. Weeks have gone by, and too many times to count I have ignored that voice telling me the deadline was approaching and I needed to get finished. So how essential is grit to success, and more importantly, how do we teach our children to get it?

“Grit,” otherwise known as persistence or determination, is currently a passion (some would call it a fad) in certain educational circles today. Angela Duckworth, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist, is a leading advocate of the importance of tenacity in life. Watch for a fascinating explanation of the results of her research in the area. Basically, she concludes, based, among other things, on her research of West Point graduates and National Spelling Bee contestants, that what correlates with success most is grit, not intelligence. Similarly, in the area of gifted students, the most famous study, conducted by University of Connecticut psychologist Joseph Renzuli, director of the National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented, concluded that “task commitment,” together with ability and creativity, was, indeed, one of the three essential components of giftedness.

Duckworth believes that grit can be quantified. Her University of Pennsylvania website has a . (My score was a 2.25 on a scale of 1 – 5 ,with 5 being the grittiest, and concluded I am “grittier than at least 1% of the U.S. population.” Ouch, no wonder I can’t finish this blog.)

So what can we do to ensure our children will have grit when they need it?

First, stop praising your child for his or her intelligence. A Stanford University study found that children praised for their intelligence learned to care more about their grades than about learning on subsequent tasks, and after failing, they were less persistent than their unpraised peers. Instead, praise your children for their hard work and determination. Also emphasize to your children that intelligence can be improved through hard work. Another Stanford study concluded that students who believed that intelligence is malleable earned better grades during the next two years than those who believed that intelligence was fixed. (Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has a designed to measure to what extent you believe that success comes from effort rather than innate intelligence or talent.)

Next, show kids the effect of grit in the real world. Everyone, for example, has heard the story of how Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team but continued to practice. Other examples might include Steve Jobs, who failed at several Apple projects and ended up losing control of the company for several years, and Andrew Wiles, a mathematician who ultimately proved Fermat’s Theorem after years of failure. Of course, as always, modeling for your children where you have used grit to be successful may be the best teacher. (Maybe I can get my daughter to read this.)

Watch for when your child becomes frustrated. Use this as an opportunity to discuss the everyday nature of frustration, and explain to him or her that this is an opportunity for growth.

Finally, according to Paul Tough in his book How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power Of Character, the best thing to do to develop the character of our children is to let them experience failure. As he states,

American children, especially those who grow up in relative comfort, are, more than ever, shielded from failure as they grow up. They certainly work hard; they often experience a great deal of pressure and stress; but in reality, their path through the education system is easier and smoother than it was for any previous generation. Many of them are able to graduate from college without facing any significant challenges. But if this new research is right, their schools, their families, and their culture may all be doing them a disservice by not giving them more opportunities to struggle. Overcoming adversity is what produces character. And character, even more than IQ, is what leads to real and lasting success.

So now that this blog is done, maybe it’s time to get that unfinished novel out again and prove Duckworth’s test wrong.

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References

Duckworth, A. L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M. D., & Kelly, D. R. (2007). Grit: perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of personality and social psychology, 92(6), 1087.

Duckworth, A. L., & Quinn, P. D. (2009). Development and validation of the Short Grit Scale (GRIT–S). Journal of personality assessment, 91(2), 166-174.

Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House LLC.

Dweck, C. S. (2000). Self-theories: Their role in motivation, personality, and development. Psychology Press.

Tough, P. (2013). How children succeed. Random House.