Perfectionism is a quality that I struggle with first hand. Even as an adult, I find myself obsessing over errors in my weekend softball games and silently competing with the runner on the next treadmill at the gym. As a child, I would spend countless hours tearing out pages of sketchbooks and notebooks because there was a misspelled word, a fragmented sentence or even a smudge from my left-handed cursive. A mistake meant that the entire project had to be redone, because if everything didn’t line up perfectly, including my penmanship, it wasn’t worth turning in. Projects and deadlines became daunting, because how could the perfect drawing be executed in just one weekend? After spending time with gifted adolescents throughout the summer, I realized that this was a common trait in gifted students and that I was not alone. I have found ways to focus this perfectionism into more constructive goals as I’ve gotten older, but I still see the importance (especially with gifted children) of addressing the ever “strangling” concept of failure.

Perfectionism often points to “giftedness” because perfection in itself is an abstract idea. Looking for perfection is the thought of pursuing what is possible yet is not concrete in reality. Striving for something better, or reaching your full potential, is not a bad characteristic. However, it can take an emotional turn when you do not create balance in your life. “As with all dimensions of physical, cognitive and emotional well-being, the objective for children who have perfectionistic tendencies should be to find a healthy balance in which there is enough growth, but without undue and debilitating stress” (Matthews, Dona J., and Joanne F. Foster. 2005). Many times this overwhelming stress is an internal conflict that perfectionists impose upon themselves. However, extracurricular activities along with the daunting deadline can have the result of students losing initiative and procrastinating until the last minute. It’s rewarding to pursue excellence; it’s exhausting to disillusion yourself into thinking you’re incapable of completing the task at hand.

Now, as I reflect back on past personal experience, I see how making mistakes can be used as a learning tool. Open communication with students and consistent support is a great start to soothe the frustrations perfectionist behavior inflicts. It can be helpful to address the importance of rewording failures as “learning experiences”, and have faith in the perfectionist to reach his or her overall goals. Not once did I observe what I learned from scoring a 95% on a test. Learning should have been my priority as a perfectionist student, not the grade. This balance of errors and achievements is important for daily life. Without this willingness to take risks and face failure, there would be no innovation or modern day science.

When an assistant asked Thomas Edison, “Well, Mr. Edison, how do you feel about having 1,500 failures to your credit?” Edison replied, “No, they weren’t failures. We now know 1,500 light bulb filaments that don’t work!”

References

Matthews, Dona J., and Joanne F. Foster. Being Smart about Gifted Children: A Guidebook for Parents and Educators. Scottsdale, AZ: Great Potential, 2005. Print.

Silverman, Linda Kreger, and Leland Baska. Counseling the Gifted and Talented. Denver, CO: Love Pub., 1993. Print.

How have you or your kids worked through the challenges that come with perfectionism? Please share in the comment section below.

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Kate was ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ’s Apprenticeship Program Coordinator. Prior to moving to the Los Angeles area, Kate worked as an educator for over five years in Washington, D.C.

What is mentoring?

The role of the Mentor is recognized in many parts of society as well as many cultures throughout time. One of the earliest known mentorships was from Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey. The Mentor in The Odyssey is described as a wise friend that helps to guide Telemachus in discovering his inheritance. According to Dr. Susan Miller and Dr. Anne Frederickson of The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,

Mentor did not guide Telemachus to discover the riches of plundered Troy, rather he guided the young man’s yearning for his father and heritage. Perhaps the same can be applied to mentorship, which guides us to understand the inheritance within us and our full potential in our chosen profession.

Mentors today are still guiding our youth, young professionals and protégés in the same manner. Without Mentors to guide us along the path of possibility, we wouldn’t know our true potential.

What does mentoring look like today?

True mentoring today is not just an activity; it develops a lasting relationship between the Mentor and Apprentice that can be a highly meaningful experience.

Effective Mentors are trusted counselors that support their Apprentices’ ideas while giving constructive feedback so the protégés may grow. Mentors often include community volunteers, researchers, educators, university students and career professionals. Creating a worthwhile experience for everyone involved is often an intentional process and requires research and interest surveys. Structured instrumental mentorships often involve a third party to pair Apprentices with Mentors for a designated time period. This is how our Apprenticeship Program works. The majority of mentorships in education use this method because younger students often do not have the opportunity to create a spontaneous relationship with working professionals in their community (Clasen1987).

There are two types of mentoring in today’s society that support this idea: Informal Mentoring and Structured Mentoring. Informal Mentoring is a casual relationship, typically between a more experienced senior and a less experienced junior that provides long-term council. Structured Mentoring is designed to create an entire culture that reflects the proactive development within the company or organization. Structured Mentors are matched with their protĂ©gĂ©s to offer council as they pursue specific goals or topics. Here at ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ, we incorporate both types of mentoring in our high school Apprenticeship Program by offering our youth experiential learning opportunities and guidance on career choices.

The length of time in which a structured mentorship takes place depends on the goals of the mentorship and the age of the Apprentice. Elementary students often seek relationships by semester, while high school students need long-term support with strong academic focus. Regardless of the duration, the most important factor in establishing a mentorship is the commitment among all parties involved.

Why do gifted youth need mentoring? And how can you help?

Gifted students crave depth and challenge in their area of interest, which they often do not receive in the traditional classroom. They don’t want to just memorize facts; they want to see the subject come to life. Mentoring allows gifted students the opportunity to see practical applications in their field of interest and gives them the depth and challenge they need.

In addition to creating academic challenge not present in the traditional classroom, Mentors can provide gifted students with career guidance. Developing a connection with a Mentor can give gifted students the self-confidence they need to pursue the career of their dreams, and exposure to new ideas while creating real-world connections also supports occupational direction.

The Mentor-Apprentice relationship is extremely beneficial to both participants, and if prepared carefully, can make a lasting difference in their lives. Mentorship inspires students to reach new academic heights while building a community centered in emerging talent. At ÓĹĂŰĘÓƵ, we have the opportunity to guide Apprentices and acknowledge and support the true capabilities of our gifted youth. By becoming a Mentor, you can, too.

We are currently accepting applications as well as securing Mentors for our 2014 Apprenticeship Program. If you are interested in learning more, please visit the Apprenticeship page of our website or contact us at Apprenticeship@educationaladvancement.org.

How has mentorship affected your educational or career path? Please share with us in the comment section below!

• References
  Clasen, D., and M. Hanson. Double Mentoring: A Process for Facilitating Mentorships for Gifted Students. Vol. 10. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print. Roeper Review.
• Colangelo, Nicholas, and Gary A. Davis. “Mentoring: A Time-Honored Option for Education of the Gifted and Talented.” Handbook of Gifted Education. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 1991. N. pag. Print.
• “Experience Pays: Mentoring.” Http://www.experiencepays.qld.gov. Queensland Government, n.d. Web. 21 Dec. 2012. <http://www.experiencepays.qld.gov.au/pdf/eii/epas/retain/mentoring.pdf>.
• “Guidance for Mentors.” Http://www.mrc-cbu.cam.ac.uk. Medical Research Counsel, n.d. Web. 21 Dec. 2012. <http://www.mrc-cbu.cam.ac.uk/equality/MRC%20Guidance%20for%20Mentors.pdf>.
• Miller, Susan M., M.D., and Anne Frederickson, M.D. “Mentorship Matters: Mentor and Telemachus.” Mentorship Matters: Mentor and Telemachus | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/developmentor/mentorship_matters_mentor_and_telemachus, n.d. Web. 21 Dec. 2012. <http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/developmentor/mentorship_matters_mentor_and_telemachus>.
• VanTassel-Baska, Joyce. Serving Gifted Learners beyond the Traditional Classroom: A Guide to Alternative Programs and Services. Waco, TX: Prufrock, 2007. Print.
• Wickman, Floyd, and Terri Sjodin. Mentoring. N.p.: McGraw Hill, 1997. Print.