Lessons听

Experience is certainly among the best of all teachers. I also believe that learning from the wrong turns we take can cement the knowledge we gain even more firmly.

Shortly after our son was born, a cousin sent us a parcel with items that her son had used when he was little. Included in the package were some hand-me-down clothes for special occasions and a set of magnetic letters of the alphabet to be placed on the refrigerator. As our child was still a toddler, it didn鈥檛 occur to me to employ the letters as an educational tool. Instead, I stuck them on the fridge as they were colorful and also could be used to hang photos and grocery lists. Later our son became intrigued with the letters and on his own discovered the magic of magnets. The letters swiftly joined blocks and other objects he could manipulate and use for construction or add as flavoring to the dinky car soup he regularly concocted. Somewhere in the mix of our playing, we began to ascribe names to the letters, just as we did to anything our son touched, saw, heard, and otherwise experienced. We knew that he could identify and distinguish letters and even write his name. However, it wasn鈥檛 until he dazzled the twelve year old boy who was visiting us by pointing to the doormat and spelling out the word, 鈥淲ELCOME鈥� that it became apparent how much he had internalized.

After he began to routinely and excitedly spell and occasionally recognize words he saw on billboards and in print, I had the idea that formal reading lessons were in order. So, using a Dr. Seuss book as a primer, I encouraged my pupil to sound out the letters and identify the words. In short order, annoyance and frustration supplanted excitement and it was abundantly clear that teaching reading at this point was causing unnecessary tension and serving no purpose. This experience taught the would-be teacher an invaluable lesson; that learning is best achieved when the child is ready and receptive. Further, educational initiatives, especially for young children, have greatest effect when they are natural extensions of play. Perhaps the most important lesson here, though, is that education is most successful when it is a natural outgrowth of a child鈥檚 own curiosity, rather than when it is imposed.

I strongly believe that if a parent pays attention to his or her child, then that parent will not only know when to widen the child鈥檚 horizons, but also in what way. I am reminded of the time when our son was a kindergartener that we brought home and watched as a family the movie 1776. Certainly, that musical has some catchy, if not moving, tunes and rich and feisty characters. Yet it was clear that our son was most drawn to the story underpinning the film, the birth of our nation, our history. Seeing his enthusiasm about early American history, in turn, inspired my husband and me to find ways to fuel his interest and expand his understanding. We discovered a wonderful series of books that follows generations of a fictional family from Colonial America through to the War of 1812. We were implored to read these books practically non-stop and we spent a large portion of one summer under the massive maple tree in our backyard learning about America in its early decades. Our son鈥檚 interest and knowledge continued to grow and we later spent countless mealtimes reading; about military engagements and novels like The Red Badge of Courage that describe the horrors of war. We made treks to Plymouth and Independence Hall to provide a visual understanding of the places where American history unfolded. The point is that our family鈥檚 quests and intellectual journeys were sparked by the excitement our son showed while watching 1776. We just sought to sustain and develop that interest to wherever it led us. It wouldn鈥檛 surprise me if our son鈥檚 decision to major in history years later was in part rooted in those positive encounters he had with Colonial America as a young child.

Now, while I think it grossly unfair 鈥� if not cruel 鈥� to willfully subject a child to a challenge well beyond his or her physical and mental ability, I don鈥檛 think that a parent should prevent a child from experiencing any sort of difficulty or from trying something new. Indeed, some of the most flexible and creative thinkers are those who have had to find ways to address and overcome disappointments and handle the unfamiliar. Facing some modicum of challenge makes for healthy development.

There is a memorable scene from the film, Babies, a documentary that follows four babies from around the world from their births until they begin to walk. In this clip, a months-old girl is sitting on the floor and concentrating on stringing large plastic square-, triangle- and circle-shaped beads onto a pole. She manages to get all the beads on the pole and excitedly lifts the pole only to watch the beads she had painstakingly threaded slide off the other end of the pole and onto the floor. Then she does what I wish I could do in polite company when something or someone is driving me nuts. She hurls herself on her back, kicks her feet in midair, and screams. You don鈥檛 need a thought bubble to know what she鈥檚 feeling. However, what happened next was a marvel to see. After a short, heartfelt wail, the girl sat up, crawled back to the pole and beads and tried it all again.

Long way around, the time for parents to encourage their child to take another step in development is when that child shows evident signs that he or she not only is interested, but also possesses the requisite maturity or patience to make the effort. This applies equally to learning to ride a bike, read, or use a toilet.

A famous study, colloquially known as the marshmallow test, elaborates on this notion of patience or, more specifically, the ability to delay gratification. In the 1960s and 1970s, a psychologist, then a professor at Stanford, conducted a series of tests on pre-school and early primary school students. The young students were told that they could either have one marshmallow (or Oreo or pretzel stick) immediately or wait fifteen minutes and receive several of these treats. This cohort of students was then tracked over decades. Curiously, the students who delayed gratification generally achieved more positive life outcomes, e.g. higher educational attainment, greater ability to handle stress, healthier body mass index, and perhaps of most importance to those parents who possessed academic ambitions for their child, much higher standardized test scores than those who enjoyed the one marshmallow (or treat) immediately.

The marshmallow test was largely debunked by later studies that maintained that the ability to hold out for more marshmallows was shaped by a child鈥檚 social and economic background, rather than by his or her inherent patience or resilience. Still, although the marshmallow test was designed to measure young children鈥檚 degree of self control, it actually provides a useful moral for parents. The experiment captured so much attention because it purported to predict a child鈥檚 degree of success, as determined by certain adults, a decade or more down the line. But, in the big picture, why should parents even be thinking about how their four year olds will fare on the SAT, for example, a dozen or more years in the future? Perhaps it鈥檚 the parents that ought to think about ways to exercise patience and refrain from eating the proverbial marshmallow themselves. Rather than to rush their children鈥檚 development for the possibility of achieving a certain vision of success, parents need to wait and see where their children鈥檚 interests and curiosities lie and then take steps to fuel that initial excitement accordingly. This brings me back to the lesson I learned in deciding to teach our son to read before he was ready.

Because my husband and I are self-employed and have the luxury of a fair amount of flexibility in our schedule, at least one of us was available to be with our child from his birth. When both of us were free, we tended to travel as a threesome, whether to the grocery store, library, or the backyard. It鈥檚 not surprising that all this time together helped to forge our close-knit family. Also, as we were close, we valued and sought our son鈥檚 opinions. As such, he weighed in on family-related decisions, including where we might eat out on those infrequent occasions when we opted not to cook. We generally frequented inexpensive, fast food places. As our son grew older and could express his preferences, we would take turns deciding where we should dine. This was taken quite seriously and a record was kept as to whose turn it was so that there was parity in decision-making. All this is to explain that from a very early age, our son鈥檚 choices and views mattered, especially when they concerned his own experience.

The time came when we decided to look into pre-schools with programs that ran just a couple of mornings or afternoons a week. Our motivation to explore pre-schools was largely for the social experiences they offer. As our son was and is an only child, we thought he might benefit from the chance to meet and interact with others his age. Several friends had recommended a school that their children attended. It happened that a significant number of families affiliated with this nursery school also were associated with a leading university located nearby. We figured that if academics enrolled their children in this place, it must have some merit. The day of the pre-school鈥檚 open house arrived and prospective students and their parents swarmed into the facility, listened attentively to the teacher as she described the program and its approach, noted the furnishings and toys, and sought clues about the essence of the place. It was clear that here, education, specifically academic schooling, was valued. It was also clear that the target of the teacher鈥檚 attention at the gathering was the parents, rather than the prospective students. Whenever the teacher spoke to a child, her tone seemed to lack genuine warmth and, worse, her manner was patronizing. We鈥檇 been in the building all of ten minutes when our son quietly started asking when we would leave. The signal was unambiguous. He wanted out.

A few days later, we visited a public nursery program run out of the local recreation center where we had been invited to stop by any time the pre-school was in session. When we arrived, a group of children was happily navigating Big Wheels around their classmates in the airy, though relatively small space that housed the school. Spying an unoccupied vehicle, our son asked if he could join the fun. With a nod from the teacher, he climbed on the Big Wheels and pedaled away beaming. Guess in which program we enrolled our son. It so happened that this pre-school also had a valuable educational component. The students were exposed to the rudiments of language and arithmetic and they were read stories about Native Americans and dinosaurs, but the approach was low-key and inviting. We were also pleased that our son made some fast friends with whom he played routinely inside and outside his school. Our family鈥檚 experience at this pre-school opened my husband鈥檚 and my eyes to the importance of early education, not only what was taught, but how. Looking back I realize that the pre-school teachers reinforced the way we ourselves interacted with and engaged our son at home, by sharing our excitement about our own interests and discovering and identifying the topics and activities that tickled and fueled his own imagination. The pre-school experience also served to motivate us to partner with our son鈥檚 teachers down the line to try to echo the approach he was fortunate to have experienced in his very first formal schooling.

Now back to the subject of decision-making and the reason for talking about our son鈥檚 pre-school in the first place. I suppose that our son could have had a positive time in the first program we visited. There had to be a reason the pre-school was so highly touted by those who were affiliated with it. However, even if my husband and I hadn鈥檛 been put off by what we had observed at the open house, the most compelling factor and what clinched the decision to choose the program we did was the way our son responded to the options before him and his excitement to attend the school he preferred. I have absolutely no doubt that if a child is comfortable about a school, then that is the place to pursue. In fact, this is my mantra with respect to educational choices and following it has always served me well. First, no matter how wonderful an institution or educational program seems on paper, I think it is essential to visit the school and witness it in action. Second, you may never be able to explain why a particular pre-school, program, or even college feels right, but if it does, then it is right. Conversely, even if a school can boast an impressive array of graduates or possesses state of the art facilities and eye-popping resources, if your child doesn鈥檛 feel right about the place, then the school 颈蝉苍鈥檛 right. For us, the pre-school decision-making process solidified what we always intuitively knew. Our son鈥檚 feelings and views were essential ingredients in determining what next step to take when it concerned him, even where to eat for dinner.

Patsy Kumekawa

May 18, 2020

Every gifted person has a unique story. The following story is part of a series of posts depicting the many faces of gifted by highlighting gifted children and adults we have found through 优蜜视频 programs. 优蜜视频鈥檚 鈥� mentioned in this story 鈥� links gifted high school students from across the country with mentors who advance each participant鈥檚 skills through the application of knowledge and exposure to real world experiences.

Alexandra Balcazar
优蜜视频 Apprentice at The Huntington Museum in 2001
Outside Professional Assistant, Victoria and Albert Museum

鈥溣琶凼悠� does not take intelligence for granted; rather, it fosters and develops it. The Apprenticeship Program made me more confident in my abilities and opened up many new possibilities for me. Having a program like 优蜜视频 was invaluable, and I feel very lucky to have participated,鈥� Alexandra Balcazar, a 2001 Apprentice, explained.

Alexandra was in 11th grade when she found out about 优蜜视频鈥檚 summer Apprenticeship Program from her Pasadena high school biology teacher.

鈥淪ince I enjoyed and did well at biology and had been considering going to college for it, my teacher thought the program in botany at The Huntington Museum would be a good match for me. I also liked the idea because I had always enjoyed The Huntington as a visitor, so it was exciting for me to be able to go behind the scenes to intern there. Also, I was pretty shy, so I thought it would be a good way to meet other like-minded people,鈥� Alexandra went on to say.

She worked with Mentor Jim Folsom, The Huntington鈥檚 chief Botanist. 鈥淭he main project was to study the chemical and biological mechanisms of the Venus Fly Trap. Our group conducted several experiments with the plant to measure how quickly the fly trap would respond to stimuli and whether it would respond differently to various types of 鈥榖ait鈥�. We also did some studies in perceptions of real versus fake flowers, asking visitors about what they saw and what made them think a flower was real or not.鈥�

A few experiences from Alexandra鈥檚 Apprenticeship stick out in her mind. 鈥淚鈥檓 never going to forget the moonlit garden tour of The Huntington and the overall feeling of being part of a team that helps the museum and gardens function. Having the opportunity to meet so many experts in their fields was inspiring and encouraging, because they were so down to earth and easy to talk to. My Mentor clearly loved his job, and he passed that excitement along to the Apprentices.鈥�

鈥淔rom a social perspective, it was one of the best experiences I could have had in high school. We stayed in Occidental College dorms, and we had a couple of incredibly fun residential supervisors who kept us busy and entertained when we were not at The Huntington. I think it was the first time I was around kids from many different educational backgrounds, and it was simultaneously comforting and thrilling to meet other people who were friendly, ambitious and very, very intelligent.鈥�

Alexandra went back to high school with a new perspective after apprenticing at The Huntington. 鈥淭he program gave me hope to find similarly intellectually stimulating environments and people in college and beyond. It also dissolved some feelings of intimidation I had about working in a professional, research-driven place with lots of brilliant people (brilliant people are nice and normal too!). I went to an under-privileged high school in Pasadena, and while there were some excellent, dedicated teachers and a handful of kids who worked hard academically, the standard for the overall student body was set low, with few expectations for students to go on to higher education. As an Apprentice, I was given proof that working hard academically, and being a conscientious, aware person can offer rewards, and it made me more determined than ever to do well in school and apply myself to new projects.鈥�

Alexandra currently works in London and lives in the seaside town of Brighton, England. She describes her post-high school journey as a long and winding road. 鈥淎fter high school, I took a turn from biology and realized that I loved art history. I ended up being an art history major and medieval studies minor at Smith College, in Massachusetts, and did my junior year abroad at St Andrews, in Scotland. While at Smith, I started interning at the college鈥檚 art museum as a tour guide, and during the summer, I interned at Plimoth Plantation, a living history museum in Plymouth, MA. I loved art and museum work, but in the last semester of my senior year, I took an introduction to costume design and fashion history course and became hooked on the study and design of costume.鈥�

鈥淎fter graduating in 2006, I wasn鈥檛 sure if I wanted to be a costume and textiles curator or a costume designer, so I tried out both, while doing substitute teaching on the side. I interned at the L.A. County Museum of Art (LACMA) in their costume and textiles department and worked on the accessioning and cataloguing of 18th and 19th century garments, which eventually formed the basis of LACMA鈥檚 鈥楩ashioning Fashion鈥� exhibition from 2010. I loved interning there, but in reality, one generally needs at least an MA to do curatorial work, and I just wasn鈥檛 ready for that yet. I put museum and costuming work on the back burner for a while and decided to get my California Teaching Credential instead. However, just after getting my credential, an opportunity arose to become a costume/wardrobe assistant for short films and TV, and I jumped at the chance. At that point, I was a qualified teacher, but my earlier costume aspirations were revived. I also worked as an apprentice at a shop in L.A. called reVamp, which makes period-accurate fashion reproductions from the first half of the 20th century. I learned pattern-making, cutting and sewing, which was all helpful in learning more about the technical aspect of fashion.鈥�

鈥淚n 2011, I decided finally to go for my Masters. I went to the University of Sussex in Brighton for my MA in Art History and Museum Curating. Sussex has a link with the Victoria and Albert Museum (V&A), an incredible design museum in London. It was through that link that I began my involvement with the V&A.鈥�

Although Alexandra started out as an intern, she is currently an Outside Professional Assistant (or OPA) at the V&A. 鈥淎s an intern, I started the archiving process for a recent V&A exhibition of digital art, researched fashion designers who use digital technology in their clothes, and assisted with public events put on by the Contemporary department. As an OPA, I am continuing as an assistant for museum events, which includes setup, installation and de-installation of art, facilitating public activities and liaising with artists who are involved with the events.鈥�

鈥淚 just finished my dissertation, which was about digital art in museums, so that is a new area of interest for me. I still love costume and fashion history, and so I am actively pursuing curating jobs in that area, too, but to be honest, I have no idea what I will be doing in ten or twenty years鈥� time. Maybe go back teaching? Curating? I am completely okay with not knowing where things will lead, but I just want to be able to enjoy what I am doing, so that enthusiasm is reflected in my work. Last May, I got married here in England, to a lovely Brit who is getting his PhD at Sussex, so while he finishes the degree, we鈥檒l be here for a least a few more years.鈥�

Alexandra still keeps in touch with some people from 优蜜视频 and hopes to catch up with fellow Apprentice alums soon. 鈥淚 did actually run into Jim Folsom, my mentor from The Huntington, while visiting the gardens a couple years ago. It was wonderful to see him again, and it was really nice to hear that he remembered me and the work I did while I was there. He is so knowledgeable and such a nice guy, so it was great to catch up with him and his work.鈥�

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