is a very inspirational TEDx Talk by Scott Barry Kaufman, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, author and speaker.

The premise of his talk is:

鈥淒o standard tests (like I.Q.) lie about how smart you really are? Do they show what you can really achieve? In this paradigm-shifting talk, Kaufman presents a new theory of human intelligence. Scott Barry Kaufman is deeply interested in using psychological science to help everyone鈥� all kinds of minds鈥� live a creative, fulfilling, and meaningful life. A main takeaway from his work is that everyone is capable of creativity, the key is finding the thing that will let them shine the most.鈥�

Kaufman can easily be called an expert on this topic. He has written, edited and co-authored several books pertaining to intelligence, the creative mind, gifted and twice-exceptional learners. He has also done research on different ways of identifying giftedness, high-ability and creativeness. In this presentation, he discusses a new theory of human intelligence that uses a holistic approach to learning, one that recognizes the capacity within each child.聽 Too often, institutions rely almost exclusively on IQ and standardized tests, which result in teaching practices that are rigid, unyielding and undifferentiated.聽 According to Kaufman, such practices lead to the type of teaching that does not encourage motivation, engagement or finding one鈥檚 passion.

Watch and listen carefully to how he describes his own educational experience as a young student. You will be amazed, perplexed and even saddened to hear about his journey, but eventually be impressed by his resilience, determination and perseverance. Kaufman is able to approach the topic from the perspective of both a researcher and a former disillusioned student, making the talk resonate from multiple angles.

What do you think of Kaufman鈥檚 theory of human intelligence? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Since 2014, the Caroline D. Bradley Seminar has been the event I most anticipate each year. Months and months of planning precede this exciting community gathering of students, alumni, parents, educators and supporters from across the U.S. For most of the year, CDB Scholars are separated by geography, schools, and busy schedules. But once a year, every spring, we welcome our entire community to convene in southern California for a three-day seminar where they can discuss and share ideas with like-minded peers in an inclusive and energetic environment. (If you aren鈥檛 familiar with the Caroline D. Bradley Scholarship, you can read more about this unique and life-changing opportunity on our .)

Since 2002, the program has identified over 230 highly motivated, gifted students across the country, providing merit-based four-year tuition to the high school program that best meets their personal and academic needs 鈥� private, public, charter, boarding, early college, online and homeschool hybrid. The seminar provides a meeting place annually for these students and focuses on personal growth through themes and topics which encourage conversation, connection and authenticity. It鈥檚 an important time because it allows each class of CDB Scholars to get to know other students within their cohort as well as the entire network of scholars from years past and present. The Bradley Seminar is generously funded by The Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation.

The 15^th annual Bradley Seminar took place March 9 鈥� 11 at The Westin near LAX and was our largest event to date with over 240 attendees representing 30 states spanning from Hawaii to Nebraska to Florida. Through cross-generational formats, small group workshops and conversation, we delved into this year鈥檚 theme, Intersections. Our keynote speaker, Jim Davis, Co-Founder of 优蜜视频, kicked off the weekend with an interactive exploration using personality theory as a framework for better understanding ourselves and others. Using for inspiration, we discussed life at the intersection of giftedness and multipotentiality, and what it looks like to pursue life with many passions and interests. Always a highlight of the weekend, our CDB senior class shared parting words of personal experience, advice and insight to their fellow CDB community, rife with photos, tears and hugs.

On Saturday afternoon, CDB scholars and alumni visited the 优蜜视频 headquarters in Pasadena to participate in a legacy project celebrating 优蜜视频鈥檚 20^th anniversary. Students collaborated with their CDB classes to design and create a flag using meaningful symbolism to represent their CDB class, as well as commemorate 优蜜视频鈥檚 milestone year. What resulted from their collective creative vision and work was inspirational. One even made me cry (admittedly not that difficult to achieve) with its underlying story and layers of symbolism. Their designs can be viewed below and will be displayed at 优蜜视频 offices at The Barder House in perpetuity.

(A note: Aside from that one summer back in 2008 when I became mildly obsessed with learning all the flags of the world thanks to Sporcle.com, I didn鈥檛 know much about the specifics of flag design or vexillology. After putting in a few hours of basic research on the subject in preparation for this project, I was hooked. Two resources in particular made a fascinating case for why good design matters. First, the definitive guide 鈥溾�� compiled by Ted Kaye of the North American Vexillological Association.聽 Second, the delightfully amusing and thought-provoking Ted Talk by podcast host, Roman Mars, 鈥溾��. I recommend both to anyone interested in learning more on the topic. I also strongly recommend checking out the proposal by Calder Hansen, 2014 CDB Scholar.)

It鈥檚 hard to believe this year鈥檚 event has already come and gone. Months of pouring over spreadsheets, emails, flight details, schedules, etc. lead you to that sudden moment when everyone is saying goodbye again until next year. There鈥檚 nothing quite like the energy that fills the room that first Friday night at the seminar. It鈥檚 a feeling that follows you home and sticks with you for weeks after.

One CDB scholar said it best: 鈥淚 am sure I speak for all of the scholars when I say that the opportunity to meet friends, engage in intellectual conversations, and just spend time in a like-minded community was one of the highlights of my school year so far. I personally enjoyed getting to meet the freshman class, and was so inspired by their generous spirits, open-mindedness, and excitement about what the future holds. I spent time with different parents this year as well and had many discussions about topics ranging from accents to culture to the intersection of spirituality and science. I was so sad to leave – I felt like Sunday came even more quickly than it did last year! But even a short weekend was enough to make me feel so lucky and grateful to be a CDB scholar.鈥�

I speak for myself and the rest of the 优蜜视频 staff when I say how humbled and grateful we all are to work with such a lovely community of scholars, alumni, parents and educators. We can鈥檛 wait to see you again next year!

For more photos of the event, check out 优蜜视频鈥檚 !

Mark Erlandson, the parent of a gifted student who presently attends a boarding school out East, is a former lawyer and public high school English teacher from Wisconsin starting a new business as a legal writing consultant.

Grit. I鈥檒l admit I didn鈥檛 have it. Twice now I have put this blog down and stopped writing because I felt uninspired and bored. Weeks have gone by, and too many times to count I have ignored that voice telling me the deadline was approaching and I needed to get finished. So how essential is grit to success, and more importantly, how do we teach our children to get it?

鈥淕rit,鈥� otherwise known as persistence or determination, is currently a passion (some would call it a fad) in certain educational circles today. Angela Duckworth, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist, is a leading advocate of the importance of tenacity in life. Watch for a fascinating explanation of the results of her research in the area. Basically, she concludes, based, among other things, on her research of West Point graduates and National Spelling Bee contestants, that what correlates with success most is grit, not intelligence. Similarly, in the area of gifted students, the most famous study, conducted by University of Connecticut psychologist Joseph Renzuli, director of the National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented, concluded that 鈥渢ask commitment,鈥� together with ability and creativity, was, indeed, one of the three essential components of giftedness.

Duckworth believes that grit can be quantified. Her University of Pennsylvania website has a . (My score was a 2.25 on a scale of 1 – 5 ,with 5 being the grittiest, and concluded I am 鈥済rittier than at least 1% of the U.S. population.鈥� Ouch, no wonder I can鈥檛 finish this blog.)

So what can we do to ensure our children will have grit when they need it?

First, stop praising your child for his or her intelligence. A Stanford University study found that children praised for their intelligence learned to care more about their grades than about learning on subsequent tasks, and after failing, they were less persistent than their unpraised peers. Instead, praise your children for their hard work and determination. Also emphasize to your children that intelligence can be improved through hard work. Another Stanford study concluded that students who believed that intelligence is malleable earned better grades during the next two years than those who believed that intelligence was fixed. (Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has a designed to measure to what extent you believe that success comes from effort rather than innate intelligence or talent.)

Next, show kids the effect of grit in the real world. Everyone, for example, has heard the story of how Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team but continued to practice. Other examples might include Steve Jobs, who failed at several Apple projects and ended up losing control of the company for several years, and Andrew Wiles, a mathematician who ultimately proved Fermat鈥檚 Theorem after years of failure. Of course, as always, modeling for your children where you have used grit to be successful may be the best teacher. (Maybe I can get my daughter to read this.)

Watch for when your child becomes frustrated. Use this as an opportunity to discuss the everyday nature of frustration, and explain to him or her that this is an opportunity for growth.

Finally, according to Paul Tough in his book How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power Of Character, the best thing to do to develop the character of our children is to let them experience failure. As he states,

American children, especially those who grow up in relative comfort, are, more than ever, shielded from failure as they grow up. They certainly work hard; they often experience a great deal of pressure and stress; but in reality, their path through the education system is easier and smoother than it was for any previous generation. Many of them are able to graduate from college without facing any significant challenges. But if this new research is right, their schools, their families, and their culture may all be doing them a disservice by not giving them more opportunities to struggle. Overcoming adversity is what produces character. And character, even more than IQ, is what leads to real and lasting success.

So now that this blog is done, maybe it鈥檚 time to get that unfinished novel out again and prove Duckworth鈥檚 test wrong.

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References

Duckworth, A. L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M. D., & Kelly, D. R. (2007). Grit: perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of personality and social psychology, 92(6), 1087.

Duckworth, A. L., & Quinn, P. D. (2009). Development and validation of the Short Grit Scale (GRIT鈥揝). Journal of personality assessment, 91(2), 166-174.

Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House LLC.

Dweck, C. S. (2000). Self-theories: Their role in motivation, personality, and development. Psychology Press.

Tough, P. (2013). How children succeed. Random House.

Lisa is the mother of 3 gifted children and lives outside of San Francisco.

Every time I write about my kids, I鈥檓 afraid you鈥檒l think I鈥檓 a whiner* or a braggart* or smug*. And it isn鈥檛 just when I write. I feel the same way when I鈥檓 talking with people I know. So I try not to write or talk about their accomplishments. Of course, my fear comes from my own insecurities (my husband tells me I care too much about what people think). But it also comes from the experience of seeing other parents of gifted kids get ridiculed for talking about their children. A neighbor鈥檚 child was called 鈥渢he experiment鈥� because his mother got him extra time in the kindergarten classroom. Blog posts like 鈥溾�� and 鈥溾�� berate parents for complaining about their first-world problems. Most of the time, I try to ignore these comments, put my head down and quietly work on my children鈥檚 behalf. My behavior, for the most part, gets my children what they need. The problem is that it robs me of what I need.

I need to feel connected.

I didn鈥檛 expect to find a connection when I ran into a 19-year-old boutique clerk with fuchsia hair. I immediately liked this girl after she recognized me 15 years after attending nursery school with my son. While exchanging updates, I told her about his new major: Storytelling. She got very excited and told me about a storyteller/researcher she admired. On the back of my receipt, in big loopy letters, she wrote, 鈥�.鈥� I went home and watched the Ted Talk three times.

According to Bren茅 Brown, connection is what gives meaning to our lives. To be connected, we must be vulnerable. The problem is that vulnerability is also at the core of shame– the belief that there is something about us that makes us unworthy of connection. So, people try to numb vulnerability through drugs, alcohol and food. Less obvious are those who seek to numb this feeling by making what is uncertain, certain; or pretending that what they do doesn鈥檛 have an effect on other people. These are the people who are convinced that parents are creating Frankenstein creatures when they get extra time in the classroom for their children. These are the bloggers who are so annoyed by the problems of others that they tell a segment of the population to 鈥渟hut up.鈥� The beauty of the last two reactions is that they feed right into my insecurities and silence me. I don鈥檛 know what I鈥檓 doing and I don鈥檛 always know what to say. My children make me feel vulnerable. Maybe I should just be quiet.

My son is teaching me how to embrace vulnerability. During his ninth grade Identity and Ethnic Studies class, he made a video explaining the feelings he has about his sexual orientation. I was concerned when he posted the video on YouTube, so I checked the entry daily for unkind or cruel comments. Two thousand eight hundred views and two years later, he doesn鈥檛 have a single negative comment on his video. He allowed himself to be seen, and people responded with admiration. Fourteen years old and he was already braver than I was at 49.

So this Thanksgiving, I would like to give thanks to those people who embrace vulnerability. Thank you to the mothers who share stories of their gifted children鈥檚 personal struggles with an audience of people who may not understand or appreciate their pain. Thank you to the parents who face a potential backlash when they confront teachers and administrators to say their gifted child needs more than the school is offering. Thank you to the children who expose the personal details of their lives on the chance that some other child might benefit from their story. Thank you to the whiners, the braggarts and the smug because you make me feel connected.

*borrowed from the comment section of a blog about parents of gifted children.

Where do you find community as the parent of a gifted child? Please share in the comment section below.

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The most viewed posts of the last year were:

1. 
   鈥淚 love TEDTalks. Whenever I need a break from my day-to-day routine, I watch a TEDTalk and lose myself in the brilliance of people and their ideas鈥�.For your viewing pleasure, here are my top five most powerful, informative, and stimulating TEDTalks for parents of gifted children. Enjoy!鈥�
2. 
   鈥淓verything that makes your children intellectually intense also makes them emotionally intense. These intensities can be difficult to manage as a parent. Once you understand what intensities are and where they come from, you can start implementing strategies to help your child manage these overexcitabilities.鈥�
3. 
   鈥淢any gifted children only have the option of participating in advanced extracurricular programs. While a lifeline for highly able students, these classes are held after school and on weekends, which means students remain unchallenged during the traditional academic school day.鈥�
4. 
   鈥淐hildren who feel things with great intensity experience the world in a different way. Gifted young people are often more aware, stimulated, and affected by their surroundings. Emotional or physical reactions to events can last longer than expected and are often replayed in the child鈥檚 mind.鈥�
5. 
   鈥淲hen applying to competitive, selective independent schools, many things count, including grades, test scores, extracurricular activities and the interview. Here is a basic list that will help students and parents get through this important part of the admissions process and allow the applicant to show yourself as the accomplished, unique person you are.鈥�

And, as a bonus, the post that received the most 鈥渓ikes鈥� was:

鈥淲hen my sons were in elementary school, I argued with the teachers every year to get them the instruction that they needed. When they reached middle school, I found the solution: a school for gifted and talented students….The school offered my children what they needed 鈥� academically, socially and emotionally. The school also brought out all my insecurities.鈥�

We鈥檇 like to take this opportunity to thank our monthly guest writers, and , for helping us create great content for our readers. We would also like to thank all of our readers 鈥� you鈥檙e the reason we write here! If there is anything else you want to see on this blog, please let us know any time. You can comment on any post or .

Thank you for a great year! We look forward to many more!

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