One of the questions we routinely ask applicants during an interview for a position with 优蜜视频 is: 鈥淗ow do you deal with stress?鈥�

If one were to ask me that, I would have several answers鈥攖ake deep breaths, go for a walk, or listen to music, for example鈥攂ut the answer that would describe the tactic that is first and most effective for me would be, 鈥淛ournal about the situation.鈥�

My good friend鈥檚 father is a very wise, very prominent businessman. One piece of advice I will always remember from him is, 鈥淚f you are mad, write a letter. Don鈥檛 mail it. Put it in your desk drawer and sleep on it. If you are still mad the next day, then you can mail it, but usually by then, you won鈥檛 want to.鈥�

Writing things down is a way to get situations and feelings out and to express them, to see them in a new light. The very act of writing is cathartic. In , Mary Gordon says:

Writing by hand is laborious, and that is why typewriters were invented. But I believe that the labor has virtue, because of its very physicality. For one thing it involves flesh, blood and the thingness of pen and paper, those anchors that remind us that, however thoroughly we lose ourselves in the vortex of our invention, we inhabit a corporeal world.

There are many ways to journal; travel-writing, write on a topic, describe yesterday, scribble thoughts of your future goals, aspirations, hopes and fears. One of the most effective ways for me to journal is . One example of this is the Morning Pages, made popular by Julia Cameron in her seminal book, The Artist鈥檚 Way (1992). In it, she says, 鈥淧ut simply, the morning pages are three pages of longhand writing, strictly steam-of-consciousness: 鈥極h, god, another morning. I have NOTHING to say. I need to wash the curtains. Did I get my laundry yesterday? Blah-blah-blah鈥︹�欌��

Cameron assures us, 鈥�There is no wrong way to do morning pages. These daily morning meanderings are not meant to be art. Or even writing. I stress that point to reassure the nonwriters鈥ages are meant to be, simply, the act of moving the hand across the page and writing down whatever comes to mind. Nothing is too petty, too silly, too stupid, or too weird to be included.鈥�

One key to getting the most out of Morning Pages is that they do not need to 鈥渟ound smart鈥�, and they are not meant to be read. By anyone. Including you. You shouldn鈥檛 read them yourself for at least two months, if ever. The point is to get the thoughts out, not to analyze them.

It doesn鈥檛 matter whether you are a writer or a carpenter, there is something useful in journaling. As Brenda Ueland said, 鈥渨riting is talking, thinking, on paper. And the more impulsive and immediate the writing the closer it is to the thinking, which it should be鈥�.It has shown me more and more what I am 鈥� what to discard in myself and what to respect and love鈥� (If You Want to Write, 1938).

So, as a method of meditation or stress-management or introspection, I invite you to write. As Julia says, 鈥淛ust write three pages, and stick them into an envelope. Or write three pages in a spiral notebook and don鈥檛 leaf back through. Just write three pages鈥nd write three more pages the next day.鈥� And please, let me know as it helps you create peace in your day.

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This post is part of the . Check out all of the other great blogs participating in Hoagies鈥� November Blog Hop!

Lisa is the mother of 3 gifted children and lives outside of San Francisco.

I gave my 13-year-old daughter makeup for Christmas. I slipped powder, a makeup brush and tinted lip gloss in her stocking. At the time, I was aware of the message I might be sending, but I wanted her to stop raiding my makeup drawer when her friends come over. I didn鈥檛 want to take responsibility for the purchases, so they went into her stocking. Santa still fills the stockings.

I might have forgotten about my Christmas dilemma if I hadn鈥檛 read the New York Times op-ed piece 鈥溾�澛� The author reviewed Google searches that used the words son or daughter. According to the author, parents are 2 陆 times more likely to ask 鈥淚s my son gifted?鈥� than 鈥淚s my daughter gifted?鈥� On the other hand, parents are much more likely to initiate searches relating to their daughters鈥� appearance. The piece ends with the question 鈥淗ow would American girls鈥� lives be different if parents were half as concerned with their bodies and twice as intrigued by their minds?鈥�

I think the author makes some assumptions which cause me to question the fairness of his final question. But the article got me thinking about my daughter鈥檚 Christmas gifts. Every time I support my daughter鈥檚 need to look beautiful, I go through mental gymnastics. I know that she operates in a world where girls are judged more by their ability to entice and nurture rather than to lead and achieve. Any additional attention I pay to her looks or demeanor seems to further that imbalance. But I shouldn鈥檛 have to balance one against the other. I want her to be proud of her intellect and her appearance. It鈥檚 just that the world is so clearly rewarding her for one, I feel like it鈥檚 my job to reinforce the other.

It starts at birth. Consider Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the writer and director of 鈥淢iss Representation,鈥� a film that exposes the mainstream media鈥檚 message that a woman鈥檚 value and power lie in her youth, beauty and sexuality and not in her capacity as a leader. As an advocate for women and the wife of Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom, Ms. Newsom received gifts from the White House upon the birth of her children. She received a 鈥淔uture President鈥� t-shirt when she gave birth to her son. She received no such gift when her daughter was born.

If you think traditional news outlets do a better job of finding the balance, consider the obituary written by the New York Times upon the death of the brilliant rocket scientist Yvonne Brill on March 27, 2013. The lede read:

She made a mean beef stroganoff, followed her husband from job to job and took eight years off from work to raise three children. 鈥楾he world鈥檚 best mom,’ her son Matthew said.

Don鈥檛 get me wrong, I want my daughter to find love and raise a family if she chooses. I will be happy if she learns to cook. But I would feel better about communicating my wishes to her if I knew that Robert Oppenheimer made great pancakes and was devoted to his family.

To complicate things, my daughter has a curvy figure and hair whose volume approaches that of a country western singer. So, on top of the makeup, I worry about whether the current fashion of skinny jeans and short shorts will prevent people from seeing her as a leader. All her life, I鈥檝e been telling my daughter to exercise her own judgment and ignore the opinions of others鈥攅xcept if people think the leggings and Abercrombie t-shirt she鈥檚 wearing make her look too sexy. Then, she should change her clothes.

Despite my attempts to balance the messages my daughter receives, she has internalized the idea that female power is bad.

A male classmate gave a presentation on social groups in the school. Her group was identified by their name brand clothing. She felt that the description was unflattering; and she felt attacked, so she approached the boy after class.

鈥淲hy do you hate me?鈥� she asked.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 hate you,鈥� he said. 鈥淚 hate what you represent.鈥�

鈥淲hat do I represent?鈥�

鈥淪ocial power.鈥�

My daughter came home that evening convinced that he had called her a 鈥渕ean girl.鈥� In her mind, social power equates to mean girl status. I think if I asked most people, they would say that power cannot be trusted to a 13-year-old girl. To those people, I need to ask: why not?

We can鈥檛 forget that there is some power in how women (and men) look. While taking a negotiation class in law school, one of my male classmates confessed that he had a hard time negotiating opposite a beautiful woman. Advantage: beauty and brains.

As the mother of a gifted girl, I would like her to grow up believing that intellectual ability, power and more traditionally feminine attributes like beauty and a nurturing character are not mutually exclusive. The problem is that no matter which of these attributes I am reinforcing at any given time, I am still reacting to stereotypes. Luckily, my daughter is rather strong willed. My reactions become background noise to her truth. At 13, I am confident that she has the ability to think for herself. All those arguments I have lost over the years when going head to head with her are finally paying off.

Have you struggled with this concept while raising a gifted girl? Please share your experience in the comment section below.

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Next Meeting:

Speaker: Louise Hindle
Thursday, May 1, 2014
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

Institute for Educational Advancement
569 South Marengo Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91101

Educational discourse and pedagogy seems fascinated with personalized learning. We see it embedded in the Race to the Top Campaign, we see it interwoven in discussions about the effective use of technology in the classroom; what, however, does it mean in policy and practice for gifted students? This talk will conceptualize personalized learning and define some best fit teaching for learning strategies for gifted 2nd through 8th graders.

Louise Hindle is 优蜜视频’s Academy Coordinator. A British import, Louise graduated from the University of Manchester with a B.A. Honors Degree in English Literature and Language, completed her post-graduate teacher training at The University of Cambridge, and has recently completed her dissertation in Educational Leadership and Innovation with the University of Warwick. Louise has 20 years of experience in education as a high school literature teacher, lead teacher, administrator, adviser, and consultant. She is also the parent of three fun and active school-aged children.

Register for the May meeting! (Event has since ended)

Full 2013-2014 Schedule (subject to change):

The Middle & High School Selection Process
Speaker: Bonnie Raskin
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

优蜜视频 Learning Center
625 Fair Oaks Avenue, Suite 288
South Pasadena, CA 91030

Bonnie will be addressing the various steps in the middle and high school selection process, including:

• How to find schools that are the right 鈥渇it鈥� for your child
• What goes on at various events such as Open Houses, Shadow Visits, and interviews
• Ways to familiarize yourself with a school above and beyond formal visits
• How to prepare for an interview
• How to enlist and secure strong letters of recommendation

About the Speaker:
Bonnie Raskin is 优蜜视频鈥檚 Caroline D. Bradley Scholarship (CDB) Program Coordinator. She has worked in the admissions offices of multiple Los Angeles area private schools. Working with the CDB program, she offers extensive support to a group of middle school students each year as they apply to and select their CDB high schools.

Addressing the Elephant in the Room: How to Talk About Giftedness
Special Guest Speakers: Sharon Duncan & Dr. Joanna Haase
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

South Pasadena Public Library Community Room*
1115 El Centro Street
South Pasadena, CA 91030

Why is it so difficult to talk about gifted? Parents, educators, and politicians resist discussing the needs of gifted children due to fears of being perceived as elitist. This reluctance adversely impacts gifted students in terms of funding, development of services, and willingness of parents to seek out support for their gifted children. This session explores America鈥檚 views and discomfort with giftedness, why it exists, and how we can work collectively to change the misperceptions.

About Sharon Duncan:
Sharon Duncan is the co-founder of Gifted Identity. She provides consulting support to parents, teachers, schools, and districts to help them meet the needs of gifted children. Sharon also consults on homeschooling, decisions, options, and concerns. Sharon is a SENG Model Parent Group facilitator and serves on the Mensa Youth Programming Committee. She spent 26 years working at NASA鈥檚 Jet Propulsion Laboratory before leaving to homeschool her son. Sharon has served on the Board of Trustees of a private K-8 school and as President of the School Site Council at a public elementary school. Sharon regularly presents at schools, school districts, organizations, and state and national conferences on various topics about gifted children.

About Joanna L. Haase:
Joanna Haase, Ph.D., MFT, is a psychotherapist in Pasadena, California, with over 20 years of experience working with gifted individuals and their families. Dr. Haase specializes in eating disorders, anxiety, and depression and is the president and co-founder of California Gifted Network. Partnering with school districts throughout California, Dr. Haase works to educate parents, teachers, and administrators on how to better support gifted and talented students.

Parenting Precocious Kids: Understanding the Ups and Downs of Growing Up Gifted
Special Guest Speaker: Dr. Jim Delisle
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

South Pasadena Public Library Community Room*
1115 El Centro Street
South Pasadena, CA 91030

Parents of gifted children and teens have many questions about how best to meet their intellectual and emotional needs. They want to know what giftedness is and the label鈥檚 impact on other family members. They want to know how to advocate for their gifted child in a school setting mired in 鈥渂ringing up the bottom鈥� rather than 鈥渞aising the bar鈥� at the top. They want to know how to set expectations that are appropriate and attainable. And they want to know how to juggle the wide range of emotional intensities that often 鈥渃omes with the territory鈥� in raising gifted kids.

Dr. James (Jim) Delisle has taught gifted children and those who work on their behalf for more than 35 years. Jim retired from Kent State University in 2008 after 25 years of service there as a professor of special education. Throughout his career, Jim has taken time away from college teaching to return to his 鈥渃lassroom roots鈥�, volunteering as a 2nd, 4th, 5th and 8th grade teacher. Too, Jim taught gifted middle school students one day a week in the Twinsburg, Ohio Public Schools. Currently, Jim works part-time with highly-gifted 9th and 10th graders at the Scholars’ Academy in Conway, South Carolina. The author of more than 250 articles and 19 books, Jim鈥檚 work has been translated into multiple languages and has been featured in both professional journals and in popular media, such as The New York Times, People Magazine, and on Oprah!

Feeding The Mind & Heart of Gifted Children
Speaker: Elizabeth Jones, 优蜜视频 President & Co-Founder
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

South Pasadena Public Library Community Room*
1115 El Centro Street
South Pasadena, CA 91030

The integration of intellectual, physical, social, spiritual, and emotional aspects of self are crucial in a gifted child鈥檚 development. This talk will explore Dabrowski鈥檚 theory of overexcitabilities and how it connects to supporting the development of the whole child. The theory and practice will demonstrate that, as powerful as the mind of a gifted child is, it will not develop fully without nurturing the heart.

Programs for Gifted Kids
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

Institute for Educational Advancement
569 South Marengo Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91101

Come learn about 优蜜视频’s programs for gifted youth! Get more information, ask questions, and find the right program for your gifted child.

College Selection & Admissions for Gifted Students
Speaker: Kate Duey, Certified College Consultant
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

Institute for Educational Advancement
569 South Marengo Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91101

Kate will speak about the special issues facing gifted students and their families during the college search and application process. She has worked with 优蜜视频 supporting gifted students since 2009 and has a wealth of knowledge about their unique challenges and their wonderful potential. Kate has a BA from Harvard College and an MBA from Harvard Business School. She earned College Counseling Certification from the University of California, Los Angeles.

Speaker: Louise Hindle
Thursday, May 1, 2014
6:30 pm鈥�8:00 pm

Institute for Educational Advancement
569 South Marengo Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91101

Educational discourse and pedagogy seems fascinated with personalized learning. We see it embedded in the Race to the Top Campaign, we see it interwoven in discussions about the effective use of technology in the classroom; what, however, does it mean in policy and practice for gifted students? This talk will conceptualize personalized learning and define some best fit teaching for learning strategies for gifted 2nd through 8th graders.

Louise Hindle is 优蜜视频’s Academy Coordinator. A British import, Louise graduated from the University of Manchester with a B.A. Honors Degree in English Literature and Language, completed her post-graduate teacher training at The University of Cambridge, and has recently completed her dissertation in Educational Leadership and Innovation with the University of Warwick. Louise has 20 years of experience in education as a high school literature teacher, lead teacher, administrator, adviser, and consultant. She is also the parent of three fun and active school-aged children.

Register for the May meeting! (Event has since ended)

*This activity is not sponsored by the City of South Pasadena or the South Pasadena Public Library.

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