Dan Tichenor is a beloved Yunasa Fellow and friend of 优蜜视频. During our virtual Yunasa West session, Dan led a workshop about self-kindness, a topic that seems especially important right now, when everything feels upside down. I conducted an interview with Dan about self-kindness so that our entire community might have access to wisdom on the subject. 

Jennifer: You end all your emails with 鈥渂e kind to yourself.鈥� This has always struck me; it lends a gentleness to all your messaging. It is a simple, powerful reminder in a world full of aggression and urgency. You exude kindness. Do you feel you have more kindness to offer when you are kind to yourself? 

Dan: In the fall of 2008, when I started teaching the Learning Opportunities Program, a self-contained special education class for the lowest cognitive functioning kids in the school district where I worked, I needed to come up with a simple set of rules that everyone could understand. I found these three rules in an article about a school in California with students who came from challenged backgrounds. The story discussed how focusing on these simple rules helped the school achieve behavioral and academic success.

Take care of yourself. Take care of each other. Take care of the place.

Every year we spent a lot of time discussing as a classroom community 鈥� teachers, assistant teachers, and students 鈥� the rights we all shared within the three major categories. From the list of 鈥渞ights鈥� we constructed an 鈥渁greement鈥� that we would all sign. As I observed kids honoring each other鈥檚 鈥渞ights,鈥� I thought it was important they receive recognition. I started a 鈥淜indness Basket.鈥� If I observed someone being kind or doing something kind, I would ask them to write a note describing their behavior and put it in the basket. Periodically we would go through the notes and publicly acknowledge their kindnesses.

I became a Yunasa Fellow in 2007, and I began to introduce mindfulness practices, sitting quietly, deep breathing, and short psychosynthesis exercises into the daily routine at school. It wasn鈥檛 long before I began reminding some of my colleagues, who were often self-critical, to take time to be kind to themselves. It just made sense not to beat oneself up over frustrating situations that are out of our control. I shared these thoughts at faculty meetings. Over time I started using 鈥渂e kind to yourself鈥� as a salutation on e-mails and notes.

In 2018 when Michele and I went to Australia to vacation with our son and his family, I spent some time in a bookstore in Sydney. As is my habit, I browsed the mindfulness section, where I found The Little Book of Kindness by David Hamilton. When I saw that chapter 4 was entitled, 鈥淏e Kind to Yourself,鈥� I bought the book immediately. For me, who had been telling folks for years to be kind to themselves, it was like finding a buried treasure.

It is an amazing source of validation for the positive effects of kindness on both the agent of kindness and the recipient. In the first chapter, 鈥淏iology of Kindness,鈥� Hamilton compares the benefits of kindness to the effects of stress.

What Stress Does                                           What Kindness Does

Increases blood pressure                              Reduces blood pressure

Damages the cardiovascular system                       Protects the cardiovascular system

(Kindness is 鈥渃ardioprotective鈥�)

Can make people unhappy                         Makes people happy

Suppresses the immune system                   Boosts the immune system

Tenses the nervous system                            Relaxes the nervous system

Increases inflammation                                Reduces inflammation

Can trigger depression                                 Can be an antidote to depression

Later in chapter five, he demonstrates how kindness is contagious and has a ripple effect, like dropping a pebble in a pond. The more kindness you give, the more it is reciprocated and paid forward to others.

Jennifer: How do you encourage the gifted kids in your life to be kind to themselves?

Dan: In his book, Hamilton says that 鈥淏eing kind to ourselves is part of valuing ourselves and also gives us more energy to be able to be kind to others.鈥� I explain to kids that self-care impacts our ability to extend kindness to others. We all need to look after our own energy levels to be able to extend energy and kindness to others.

Jennifer: During your Yunasa self-kindness workshop, you emphasize the importance of saying 鈥渘o鈥� as a way of being kind to yourself. Why is saying 鈥渘o鈥� so important during our pursuit of self-kindness?

Dan: Saying 鈥渘o鈥� sometimes allows us to re-energize and recharge so we have the energy to give and be kind.   Hamilton says it 鈥渁llows us to increase and restore mental and emotional energy so that we are able to say 鈥榶es鈥� on many other occasions.鈥�

Jennifer: Why are healthy boundaries important as we strive to be kind to ourselves?

Dan: Healthy boundaries are the safety nets of life. They provide us the opportunity to remain safe when we face choices between risky behavior and appropriate behavior. There are many examples that can be applied regarding drinking, controlled substances, sex, curfew, driving, parties, etc.

Jennifer: I agree wholeheartedly that boundaries are the safety nets of life. I would even take it further and say that boundaries are important during the everyday minutiae as well as when confronted with potentially dangerous circumstances. Boundaries go hand-in-hand with saying 鈥渘o.鈥� When we are maxed out, over-committed, and in need of alone time, saying 鈥渘o鈥� to extra activities (even uplifting activities) can be an act of self-kindness. When we spend time getting to know ourselves, tending to our interior lives through meditation and self-reflection, we become more aware of the boundaries we need to remain healthy.

What are some ways you prioritize self-kindness in your own life? 

Dan: I have been an athletic person my whole life. For me, it is important to have a regular exercise routine. Recently I found I benefit from keeping an exercise log: writing down the various exercises and number of repetitions each time I exercise. It is a self-motivating tool. I limit the amount of sugar snacks and deserts I eat, focusing on healthy eating. I also feel it is very important to practice mindfulness meditations on a regular basis. During the current pandemic situation, Michele and I are both committed to staying healthy by practicing social isolation, wearing masks, not going to stores, etc.

Jennifer: I was kind to myself today when I mindfully enjoyed a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

What are some ways gifted kids can interact with their own inner critic?

Dan: Let the inner critic know that everyone makes mistakes. Do your best to rectify the situation, and try not to make the same mistake again. And even if you do, let it go and start over. Just keep going. Practice perseverance.

Jennifer: A mantra can be helpful when standing up to our inner critic, too. For me, it is helpful to notice my critical thoughts as they flit through my mind: I acknowledge them, release them, and return to my mantra or short prayer. I find that my own mantras are helpful all day long. I don鈥檛 necessarily need to be engaged in a session of meditation for my mantras to aid in the redirection of my thoughts.

You are a storyteller. How can the stories we tell about ourselves influence our own self-kindness? 

Dan: Stories provide examples of how we were kind, what happened when we were kind, how we felt when we were kind, how others felt during our kindness, how we took another step on the path of life after stumbling and falling down, and how we are able to reinforce resilience in ourselves and others.

Jennifer: I also think about Stef Tolan (to those of you who don鈥檛 know her, she is a brilliant author, Senior Fellow, and friend of 优蜜视频) who believes in the power of stories as a way of shaping our lives. The way we frame our circumstances can inspire gratitude and contentment rather than despair and resentment. She says, 鈥淚 have whatever I need whenever I need it, wherever I need it, for as long as I need it.鈥�

How have you been kind to yourself today?

Dan: Yes, I have been kind to myself today. I got up early to drive 40 minutes back to our home to get some items we needed that were delivered there. When I got back to our lake house, I completed the outdoor chore I had planned for the day 鈥� spreading fertilizer on the lawn. I had lunch, took a shower, and sat down to complete this kindness project. When I finish, I plan to make chicken chili for dinner. I like to cook.

Jennifer: You usually lead Qi Gong and Labyrinth workshops at Yunasa; how do these practices promote self-kindness?

 Dan: The practice of Qi Gong is mindfulness in motion. It allows me to connect the Qi energy 鈥� life force 鈥� within me. I find it physically and mentally relaxing, especially when I can do it accompanied by Tibetan flute music. Walking in a labyrinth is a meditation in motion 鈥� a mindful journey to the center, focusing on whatever intention one chooses. For me, both practices are relaxing and spiritually stimulating at the same time.

Jennifer: Qi Gong, labyrinths, and psychosynthesis are all modes of meditation and powerful conduits of self-kindness. There have been wonderful discoveries about the effects of meditation and contemplation on the brain鈥檚 neuroplasticity. Typically, our neurons love to latch onto negative thoughts. Rick Hanson, psychologist and author of Buddha鈥檚 Brain says, 鈥淭he mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.鈥� Meditation (or contemplation) orients the brain toward positivity and improves immune functioning (鈥淎lterations in Brain and Immune Function Produced by Mindfulness Meditation,鈥� Richard J. Davidson, et al). This means that our bodies can be physiologically changed by the intentional way we direct our thoughts and breath. Meditation also helps our attentiveness, and attentiveness leads to presence and further self-discovery. In the words of the brilliant poet Mary Oliver, 鈥淭en times a day something happens to me like this 鈥� some strengthening throb of amazement 鈥� some good sweet empathetic ping and swell. This is the first, the wildest, and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness.鈥�

So, in the words of Dan Tichenor, be kind to yourself.

Dr. Gallagher at Yunasa West in Colorado

Shelagh Gallagher wears many hats 鈥� so many, in fact, that she has more great ideas than time to realize them. She is a Yunasa , an NAGC award-winning curriculum and consultant, a recruitment and program consultant for Learning Center in China,听 an author, a professor, a conference keynote speaker and presenter, and mother to 20-year-old 鈥渓ight of my life鈥� son Colin. A self-described 鈥渃urriculum wonk,鈥� Shelagh has naturally gravitated toward designing courses that 鈥渂ecome an apprenticeship 鈥� not a place where you just learn facts.鈥�

I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Shelagh Gallagher for her first-hand take on problem-based learning (PBL) curricula, her work with 优蜜视频 and boccone dolche 鈥� her favorite pastry recipe.

How did you become interested in pursuing gifted education and pedagogy as a career field?

鈥淚 entered into my graduate program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill thinking I would be a counseling psychologist for gifted and talented students 鈥� like Patti Gatto-Walden, another Yunasa Senior Fellow.鈥� That all changed, however, when her studies and connections led her down a circuitous path of 鈥渆xposure I鈥檝e had to diverse people and perspectives on gifted education. It really had more to do with the programs and mentors I ended up working with.鈥� Her first point of contact was June Maker, who focused on deep instruction and emphasized the importance of questioning and building lower-to-higher order thinking in lessons. Dr. Gallagher then spent time at Confratute with Sandra Kaplan, who focused on differentiated curriculum, and depth and complexity. After receiving her PhD, Dr. Gallagher took a position at the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, whose mission of helping students become problem finders, rather than problem solvers, resonated with her daily during her three years there. She was then hired by Joyce VanTassel-Baska, during the early years of her development of the integrated curriculum model. 鈥淚t was a winding path that led me to problem-based learning and ultimately investing so much of my career in it, but it鈥檚 a spot that makes sense to me. Now I balance my interest in the psychology of giftedness with curriculum, and really, the two blend perfectly.听 One is the study of gifted students鈥� unique qualities, and the other is creating curriculum to help develop those qualities into a capacity for deeper insight into the world.鈥�

Dr. Gallagher鈥檚 father, Dr. James J. Gallagher, was an international leader in both special education and gifted education. In the 1970s, James Gallagher was the chief architect in the development of the Individualized Education Program (I.E.P.) and created a national framework for early childhood special education. Throughout his career, and upon his death in 2014, James Gallagher was heralded as an early and influential leader in the field of gifted education, with contributions ranging from research to policy, and even his own curriculum unit on leadership.

What is it that particularly inspires you within the field of Gifted education?

Simply put, Dr. Gallagher loves good curriculum: 鈥淚 love the idea of putting that in front of kids. High-quality curriculum,鈥� she laments, 鈥渋s something we need more of. There is still a lot of work to do to create a national infrastructure for gifted education and curriculum 鈥� particularly for minority and low-income students. Our work is far from finished.鈥�

Beginning in 2015, Dr. Gallagher joined 优蜜视频鈥檚 public policy consortium. With the group, Dr. Gallagher supported the idea of 优蜜视频 working with nationally-recognized polling firms to create a poll to determine America鈥檚 opinions regarding gifted education in the United States. 优蜜视频 President Betsy Jones and Dr. Gallagher co-authored a report on the survey results titled America Agrees: Public Attitudes Towards Gifted Education. 鈥淭he new policy initiative has been a very rewarding experience. It鈥檚 been a great opportunity to work with Betsy on the America Agrees report,鈥� she said. Dr. Gallagher and 优蜜视频 staff shared these findings at the annual National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) Advocacy and Leadership conference in Washington D.C. this month, and both she and Betsy presented an extended analysis of the findings at the NAGC annual conference in Minneapolis in November 2018. To read the full report, click .

Why did you decide to focus on PBL curriculum?

鈥淚鈥檝e always been a fan of Jerome Bruner and inquiry-based education. Howard Barrows鈥� PBL model was based directly on Bruner鈥檚 philosophy. The idea that it鈥檚 discovery-based, that it reveals to students the structure of the discipline, and that it focuses on leading students into significant content from an expert鈥檚 point of view has always excited me.鈥�

When I ask Dr. Gallagher where she gets ideas for new PBL curriculum, she doesn鈥檛 skip a beat: 鈥淔ortunately 鈥� or not 鈥� the world is filled with problems. There is no end to the possibilities to create curriculum 鈥� often ripped from current or historic headlines.鈥� All of her PBL curricula are fact-based and rooted in real-world application: 鈥淭he world is my resource and I love how students can tackle actual problems to solve.鈥� Anytime she needs inspiration, she considers what would make a child鈥檚 eyes open wider or what would 鈥渆xpand the vistas of their understanding of the world.鈥�

Do you have any new curriculum on the horizon?

A hearty laugh breaks out. 鈥淥h, I always have ideas percolating; however nothing official I can announce. I can tell you that I have 2-3 curricula that I鈥檓 dying to write. Hopefully, I鈥檒l find time to tackle them soon.鈥�

What do you love most about working with 优蜜视频 and Yunasa?

鈥淵unasa is such a special place 鈥� and truly one of the highlights of my year. I love having contact with the kids, and I love the work we do with the kids to ground them and give them a sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence. I experience them having such a sense of opening during the week. I love the colleagues I work with while I鈥檓 there.鈥�

Dr. Gallagher with (from left) Yunasa Fellows Dan Tichenor, Amy Gaessar, Patty Gatto-Walden, and Michael Piechowski

What are some fun facts you think people would be interested to know about you?

鈥淚 paid my way through graduate school as a professional pastry chef, first at a high-end Southern-style restaurant, then at a gourmet retail store.鈥� (Here, I can鈥檛 help but picture Dr. Gallagher in another hat: a chef鈥檚 hat.) When I ask her what her favorite pastry to make was, she didn鈥檛 hesitate: 鈥�Boccone dolche, which is Italian for 鈥榮weet mouthful.鈥� It鈥檚 comprised of three layers of meringue, in between which are a layer of chocolate, a layer of whipped cream, and a layer of strawberries.鈥� Gallagher also sings in her church choir, which feeds her need to keep music a part of her life.

Her son, Colin, spent seven summers as a Yunasa camper in Michigan, enabling her to witness the transformative power of Yunasa and its programming in her own child. In 2018, Colin served as a counselor at Yunasa West and Yunasa Michigan and will return in this role in 2019.

In Fall 2018, 优蜜视频鈥檚 Academy program introduced Shelagh Gallagher curriculum into its course offerings with Ferret it Out: A Problem about Endangered Species and Animal Ecosystems, a course that is also running this spring due to popular demand. This summer, Academy is offering three Shelagh Gallagher curriculum courses: Black Death, The Penguin Predicament: A Problem about Animal Habitat and Survival, and It鈥檚 Electrifying! An Exploration in Water-Based Alternative Energy.

For a full list of Summer Academy classes, please click .

All of Dr. Gallagher鈥檚 curricula is available to preview and purchase online through .

Brianna has worked at 优蜜视频 since 2011 and with gifted students since 2009. She graduated from Biola University with her BA in Humanities and English and is particularly interested in how literary art can inform issues in human psychology about how individuals conceive of themselves and make decisions.听

The word 鈥渘ormal鈥� is often casually batted across the field of developmental psychology, and I shudder at the implicit limitations of such a word. Sure, 鈥渘ormal鈥� is a practical point of reference for understanding how children grow, in what ways and at what ages. When used descriptively, it can be a useful tool for seeing general patterns of physical, cognitive, and emotional development. The harm seems to come when we choose, often without realizing, to see normative development through a prescriptive lens. To prescribe 鈥渘ormal鈥� as the measure of a healthy, happy child may confine us to a definition too narrow to allow the perspective that each child is a unique instantiation of life, and therefore will develop in his or her own unique way.

For those parenting a child at either end of the bell curve, the normalcy lens can cause more trouble than not. Any parent of a gifted or special needs child (or in some cases, the twice-exceptional child) can attest to the fact that, if normal is the rule, their child is indeed the exception. For these parents, it can be a challenge to let go of normative expectations and accept their child鈥檚 distinctive development.

These variations from the norm can be hard to define. Gifted has often been conflated with achievement and accolade, with success being the primary identifier of a truly gifted child. This seems a narrow perspective, considering the thousands of across America, to give one example. It also fails to account for the notion that gifted children don鈥檛 develop in a linear, synchronous way. Parents often speak of their gifted child embodying many ages at once, oscillating from an 鈥渙ld soul鈥� to an emotional 3-year-old from one minute to the next. Imagine, for instance, the gifted child who spends her weekends learning computer languages like Java and C++ but who falls to pieces if asked to perform a repetitive task like copying vocabulary words ten times. How can we best define this simultaneous abundance and lack, which to us can appear so out of the norm?

In 1991, a group of gifted education specialists (both parents and professionals) came together to ask the听question 鈥� 鈥淲hat is gifted?鈥� They gathered in Columbus, Ohio, (giving them the name 鈥淐olumbus Group鈥�) to search for听an answer to this deceptively simple听question. One member, Stephanie Tolan, recalls: 鈥溾�e agreed that in almost every way these children were out of sync with expectations, norms, and averages鈥� (Off the Charts, 14). Indeed, the gifted child will no doubt disappoint or confuse the parent who prescribes to normative expectations.

From their discussion, the Columbus Group conceived of the concept 鈥渁synchrony鈥� to describe the basic features of the gifted child. Their child-centered 鈥� not product or achievement centered 鈥� definition has been adopted by many gifted organizations (优蜜视频 included), schools, and educators as the most inclusive explanation of the gifted individual.

鈥淕iftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally鈥� (Columbus Group, 1991).

For young gifted people, the pressure for normalcy can easily sneak its way into their self-perception, either through internal or external influences, or both. Acceptance of their giftedness as an integral part of self is crucial during childhood and adolescence, as they are in the most critical stages of development. Asynchrony, not normalcy, should be the lens through which we understand the growing gifted individual, and should provide educators and parents alike a better framework for helping them to learn and grow into their best possible self.

If you are interested in learning more about asynchrony, I strongly recommend . Among the contributors are 优蜜视频 Senior Fellows, Dr. Michael Piechowski, Stephanie Tolan, and Dr. Patricia Gatto-Walden, as well as Yunasa Fellow, Dr. Shelagh Gallagher. We are honored to have an ongoing relationship with some of the most renowned experts in the field today. To learn more about it or order it online, please visit .

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