Gifted Support Group Summary
Topic: Motivation, Perfectionism & Underachievement
Speaker: Judy Weiner, MSW, BCD
Date: July 9, 2025
Judy Weiner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in the social-emotional needs of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) individuals. She is affiliated with SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted), leads parent groups, and serves on the Oak Park Unified School District GATE Advisory Committee.
Judy framed her presentation around the Columbus Group鈥檚 definition of giftedness: asynchronous development where advanced cognitive abilities and emotional intensity create inner experiences that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony often increases with intelligence and requires adjustments in parenting, teaching, and counseling to support optimal development.
She encouraged parents to reflect on how their expectations align with their child鈥檚 unique profile, reminding them that success looks different for every gifted child.
Factors Contributing to Underachievement:
Judy discussed common contributors to underachievement in gifted youth, including:
- Identity and peer issues
- Multipotentiality (high ability in many areas)
- Schoolwork that is too easy or too difficult
- Poor study or organizational skills
- Perfectionism and procrastination
- Power struggles caused by over-involved parenting
Instilling a growth mindset can help gifted students understand that intelligence is not static and can be developed. This can lead to a desire to learn and tendencies to embrace challenges, learn from criticism, and be inspired by others’ success.
Understanding Motivation:
Judy emphasized that behavior is a form of communication. She used the iceberg metaphor to show how surface-level behaviors may stem from deeper issues like anxiety, skill deficits, or unmet emotional needs. Open conversations can help uncover these hidden challenges.
Supporting Passions and Interests:听
One way to build motivation is by supporting the areas and topics children care most about. Encouraging curiosity, facilitating access to experiences, and offering opportunities aligned with their passions can improve engagement and self-confidence.
Creating the Right Learning Fit:
Judy highlighted the importance of working with educators to ensure appropriate pacing and challenge. She defined differentiation as tailoring the curriculum to match a student鈥檚 learning level, style, and interests, and not simply giving more or harder work. Ideally, learning should fall within the child鈥檚 Zone of Proximal Development, where tasks are challenging enough to stimulate growth without being overwhelming.
Judy鈥檚 Recommended Books:
- Mistakes That Worked by Charlotte Foltz Jones
- Ish by Peter H. Reynolds
- Letting Go of Perfect by Jill Adelson and Hope Wilson
- How to Motivate Your Child for School and Beyond by Andrew Martin
- Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades by Sylvia Rimm
- Moving Past Perfect by Thomas S. Greenspon
Coming This Fall:
We鈥檙e excited to keep the conversation going with two upcoming sessions you won鈥檛 want to miss:
- On Wednesday, September 10, join us for , a practical and timely discussion for families navigating the next step in their child鈥檚 educational journey (in-person session).
- On Wednesday, October 8, we鈥檒l take a deeper dive into perfectionism in . Gifted education expert Lisa Van Gemert will share strategies you can use right away to help gifted youth manage perfectionistic thinking and behaviors (virtual session).
