by , Licensed Counselor and Consultant
How do you manage your emotions and your sensitivities聽while raising your super intense super smart children? How do you raise聽your children聽without unconsciously repeating the patterns set down by your own parents?
I鈥檓 guessing that you think about this a lot. Especially at 3am when you鈥檙e desperately trying to sleep. Or when you hear your mother鈥檚 criticism spewing out of your own mouth directed at your 4-year-old. Or when you notice your father鈥檚 rage lurking behind your eyes.
Living with rainforest-minded kids when you yourself have those same traits can be overwhelming and even a tad frightening. All of that energy and sensitivity roiling around. All of your kids鈥� questions, curiosities and meltdowns flying hither and thither. Not to mention the less-than-ideal parenting you may have received. Or the judgment from other parents who think you have it easy. Or the judgment from yourself that you aren鈥檛 the perfect parent. That鈥檚 a lot to handle.
Let me give you a hug right now. For starters. You are not alone. This is not easy. Hug.
Here are some thoughts:
- There鈥檚 a lot of empathy for you online from parents who are right there with you. You can read their experiences, guidance and resources and . Read a sampling of their blogs and bookmark your favorites. There鈥檚 also a psychologist online who has raised gifted kids. Find her .
- Make a list of ways to to , and to find . Then DO THEM. Your kids will benefit. You know this but you still don鈥檛 do it. Am I right? Remind yourself that your will be good modeling for your kids. When you feel guilty,聽tell yourself that you鈥檙e doing it for your them.
- When you lose your cool, which you will, apologize. Your children will not be damaged irrevocably when you blow it. The apology allows your children to see that they don鈥檛 have to be perfect and that they can apologize聽when they鈥檙e not perfect. Imagine how your life would be different if your parents had apologized to you for their mistakes.
- When it comes to not of your parents,聽well, it鈥檚聽complicated. And depending on how dysfunctional things were, it can聽feel overwhelming or impossible. As you can imagine, there鈥檚 no quick fix. But you can . You probably already have to some extent. Of course, you know I鈥檓 going to recommend if you were raised with any kind of abuse. That said, there are many creative self-help tools for you to explore. Some are: Seena Frost鈥檚 , , yoga and other , techniques, making art/ playing music, spiritual practices, and .
- To get support for your and to find join this growing .
- And, finally, read !听Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth to be released mid-June 2016. Along with untangling聽the complexities of the rainforest mind, I describe聽client cases from my counseling practice and explain聽how we addressed both their childhood issues and their giftedness. There are many self-help strategies and resources included. Buy copies for聽your , relatives, kids, teachers, neighbors, physician, ex-partner, mail聽carrier and anyone else who might need help understanding you.
This post originally appeared on and has been reprinted with permission.
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