by Zadra Rose Iba帽ez, Director of Operations
鈥淚 have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.鈥濃�暵�
As we attempt new challenges, we are faced with opportunities for growth, and change, but with those opportunities comes the risk of failure. While we intellectually understand that, in order to grow we must take chances and try things we cannot accomplish until the skill has been learned, it doesn鈥檛 seem to help how we feel about failing.
Rose Costas said, in her article 鈥�,鈥� 聽鈥淲e fail because we are聽growing, we are聽exploring聽and we want聽solutions to life鈥檚 problems.聽 When you have failed and have gotten over your聽disappointment, you are much more likely to dig deeper within you for聽strength you didn鈥檛 even know you had.聽聽You will realize what you are truly made of and how resilient you are.鈥�
In his book,聽, Tim Harford writes, 鈥淲e鈥檙e so anxious not to 鈥渄raw a line under a decision we regret鈥� that we end up causing still more damage while trying to erase it.鈥澛� He gives the example of poker players who鈥檝e lost money and make riskier bets than they鈥檇 normally take, in an attempt to win the lost money back and 鈥渆rase the mistake.鈥�
But the thought process that we engage in after a failure can be the thing that strengthens or diminishes our ability to succeed in future endeavors.聽 So how can we train ourselves to respond positively to defeat?
When we experience a win, our brains release endorphins, dopamine and serotonin, which encourage us to engage in a task again.聽 When we experience a failure, our brains release cortisol and do not leave us with feelings of acceptance and safety.
Neurologist Judy Willis, MD, shares that 聽鈥渘euroimaging studies reveal鈥�.there are specific and reproducible patterns of changing neural activity and brain structures associated with stress.鈥澛� She states that in the high-stress state, scans reveal less activity in the higher,聽reflective聽brain and more activity in the lower,聽reactive brain that directs involuntary behaviors and emotional responses and that, over time, the density and speed of the neuron-to-neuron connections in the emotion-driven reactive networks of the lower brain increase and corresponding connections in prefrontal cortex conscious control centers decrease.
Basically, dwelling on outcomes can make the neuropathways stronger, so a more helpful activity is to rewire your brain to get used to the feeling of succeeding, rather than the expectation of failure.聽 She recommends setting goals that allow you to 聽experience聽鈥渇requent聽recognition feedback of聽incremental progress.鈥� Reaching these goals will release dopamine, which creates feelings of satisfaction, increases motivation, curiosity, perseverance and memory.鈥�
Dr. Mills advises, 鈥淪ince your goal is to rewire your brain’s expectations that your efforts will yield progress, even through increasing challenge, you need to really want the goal. This is not the time to challenge yourself with something you feel you should do but won’t really look forward to doing, such as dieting, climbing stadium stairs, or flossing after every meal. Select a goal that you would enjoy en route and at the finish.鈥�
This does not mean we should eliminate the risk for failure, else we stop growing.聽 In his article 鈥淧ositive Intelligence,鈥� author reminds us 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to remember that stress has an upside.鈥澛� His advice for when you鈥檙e overwhelmed (or focusing on failures) is to make a list of the stresses you鈥檙e under.聽 Separate them into two groups – the ones you can control and those you can鈥檛聽 – and then choose one item that you can control and come up with a small, concrete step you can take to reduce it. In this way you can nudge your brain back to a positive鈥攁nd productive鈥攎ind-set.
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